Inked Up & Ready

So, I'm all inked up for Friday's surgery. Same as last time, but on the other side. The right side of my chest has a really cool temporary tattoo that looks like this:

RYM

Just a reminder of the interpretation. "Y" stands for "yes, operate on this side." (As Dave Barry says, I am not making this up!) "RM" is Dr. Mehran's initials. So, Friday a.m., anyone @ MDA seeing the right side of my chest will know 2 things: this is the side where the operation happens...because Dr. Mehran said so.

Taught my first class of the academic year today. Another first class meets tomorrow. And let me tell you...it is great to be back! (even if I am going to be gone again late this week & early next week...*sigh*)

Thanks so much for your continued prayers, acts of service, emails, blog comments, facebook comments, cards, letters, hugs, etc. Please keep 'em coming a bit longer...I am completely persuaded that one of the reasons we received such optimistic news is that God has chosen to answer the prayers of so many of you. Know that we are forever grateful to Him...to you...and to Him for you.

With great thanksgiving, unfathomable love, and renewed hope,
Mike

p.s. - Our travel schedule:
--Wednesday - Lisa & I will head out after my class.
--Thursday - bloodwork (yippee!) and prelim appt. w/ the anesthesiologist.
--Friday at zero-dark-thirty - surgery prep; I think actual surgery is at 7:30.

As Aerosmith sang years ago...

..."I'm baaaaaaack...I'm back in the saddle again..."

Yesterday, I worked a full day for the first time in weeks. Dropped Lisa off at her work at 8:00 & went on to WCU. (well, after a brief detour by Chik-Fil-A...and then another detour through Seattle Drip...both required by my medical condition--oh, not the cancer; it's just that I've battled addiction to biscuits and to coffee for years now...well, "battled" is probably not correct here...maybe "enjoyed" is a better word...). And I felt pretty good all day at work, and had a fairly productive day. I did get the yawns around 5:30 p.m., but then I got them last year at that time when my health was still "normal." *smile*

It was great to be back @ WCU preparing for classes!! And being back around my excellent coworkers again. Very therapeutic! Even though I'm heinously far behind in preparing for classes which begin Monday (yikes!), I thoroughly enjoyed the day. And in the middle of the day, I had to go eat Thai food at Suwanna's with a great friend. The time with him and the food were both excellent additions to an outstanding...and normal!...day.

Speaking of outstanding, tomorrow will be the first Sunday in a year and a half in which my church will have a pastor who is not an interim. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us under Tony Merida's teaching & leadership! It's my strong hope and prayer that God continues to magnify Himself in and through Temple Baptist, as He has done since long before we joined 19 years ago.

The final piece of this update is that I discovered this morning that I'm recovered enough to change a tire. *sigh* But that, too, was oddly satisfying and reaffirming. Who'd have thunk that changing a tire could make one happy? I guess that's yet another reminder of the depths of "bummer!" that is cancer/IL-2/lung surgery.

Looking forward to tomorrow. And to the beginning of classes. Somewhat less so to our 8th trip to Houston/MDA Wednesday afternoon though. On the huge plus side, this one should cut down on the need for future treatment-related trips. w00t!!

Thanks for your continued prayers through this medical journey!

IT'S ON!!

Here's some snippets from the conversation in Dr. Mehran's office this morning between the good Dr. & me:

Dr. Mehran: "So...Mr. Madaris...you've come back to see about getting the remaining spot removed from your right lung."

Me: "Yes sir. I had so much fun last time, I thought we'd do it again..."

Him: "Well, we can certainly do this. And I can use the camera again." (this means "VATS" like last time)

Him again: "OK...let me go look at my calendar and get you on it."

So, ladies & gents, it's on!

Thursday, 8/28 - meet w/ anesthesiologist; have blood drawn
Friday, 8/29 7:30 a.m. - surgery to remove my last dadburn melanoma tumor!!
(We'll have to be there by something like 5:00 a.m. for the pre-surgery prep.)

Last time I had VATS on a Friday, I was out of the hospital on Sunday, and home on Monday. It took another day or two to be fully functional though. *supply your own punchline as to whether I've ever been "fully functional"*

The surgery itself does not require a long recovery. Last time, the hardest part by far was recovering from general anesthesia.

So, Lord willing, in just 8 days, I'll be able to say out loud the wonderful, magic phrase that's only a whisper of hope so far.

Please continue to pray for us through the rest of this bend in the road. Thanks so much for continuing to hold us up before the throne. Lord willing, we may be near the part where the road straightens out for a while and is no longer bent & bumpy. Hopefully, you'll soon be able to re-allocate your "pray for Mike's health" time to other prayer needs; but please hang in there with us for a bit longer.

With much love, gratitude, and hope,
Mike

p.s. - I'm so excited about this upcoming surgery that I can hardly stand it! Oh, to be "normal" again...(whatever "normal" is...)

p.p.s. - In all of my spare time from my MDA fun, I do actually have classes to teach beginning this coming Monday. Can't wait! (even though I'll have to miss a few days due to VATS round 2)

p.p.p.s. - Jim & I had a great time this week. We (mostly) behaved well, though we did severely overeat once or twice. We're so ashamed...

"'Relax...relax...relax...we need some information...first...

...just the basic facts...can you show me where it hurts?'...'There is no pain, you are receding...a distant ship's smoke on the horizon...you are only coming through in waves...your lips move, but I can't hear what you're sayin...'"

(etc., followed by smoking-hot guitar solo)

This musical introduction brought to you courtesy of Pink Floyd's outstanding song "Comfortably Numb." One of my favorite all-time rock songs, and the first medical-related song lyric I came up at 5:30 a.m....

The details for today:
7:30 a.m. today (Thursday)
Dr. Mehran (click for more info on him)
Purpose of visit: will he operate again to remove the one remaining melanoma spot on my rt. lung?

I'll update, but probably not until after we get home to the Burg later today. Jim's journey today will be longer than mine by about 4 hours. He's dropping me off @ the house & then continuing on to his place in the surburbs of Slapout, AL. (slogan: "Slapout, AL...where you ought to be" I have a great t-shirt w/ that on it)

So please pray for...
--Dr. M to say yes!
--safe travel for us to H'burg
--safe travel for Jim from H'burg to his home
(about a half hour north of Montgomery, just on the off-chance you happen not to know where in the round world Slapout is...)

Thanks so very much!!

With love, gratitude, and hope,
Mike

UPDATE/GOOD NEWS/PRAYER REQUEST...

...all in one.

So, here's the news from MDA, my home away from home, out here on the edge of the prairie (thank you, Garrison Keillor)

It's good news, though not directly in my 3 categories. And we're not finished here @ MDA.

--There is still one spot on my rt. lung
It shows up on the CT scans and also lights up on the P.E.T. scan (which means it is cancer). **We already knew this spot was there; this is not a new thing.** The good news is, this spot is unchanged in the last 2 months since my last CT & P.E.T. scan. The other good news is, there is no sign of any other cancer-looking spots anywhere in my body. (And trust me here...I had a fairly exhaustive set of scans yesterday...)

--Dr. Homsi has referred me back to Dr. Mehran the thoracic surgeon
Dr. H. wants to see if Dr. M. will operate on me again and remove the one spot. Dr. Homsi thinks I'm a good candidate, and the spot is in a good location. But that decision will be the surgeon's. (reminder: Dr. Mehran did the VATS surgery on my left lung early in the summer; we like him too!)

--Appt. w/ Dr. Mehran This Thursday, 8/21, at 7:30 a.m.
Yeah. We thought we were heading back to the 'Burg this afternoon. But I'm coming to you live from Friendswood, TX. Dr. M.'s nurse practitioner added us to his schedule Thursday morning, which is the next time he's in the clinic. He will make his decision on whether to operate at/after that appt.

--Life after surgery (assuming he operates)
The first, and coolest, part of life after surgery would be that I would get to use a phrase to describe myself that I have not been able to use decisively in 2008. (I'll not use it here in full-size print...*whispers* cancer-free...I'm saving it up for the blog post after surgery...)
The next part of life after surgery is that I'll be part of a research study here (study #2 by my reckoning). They'll take the tumor from my lung, and then will grow the lymphocytes ("t-cells") in the lab. Should melanoma ever come back with me, they'd then give those t-cells back to me along w/ IL-2.
Notice what is NOT part of life after surgery (at least not now): chemotherapy! w00t!

So, there it is, ladies & gents. On balance, we're all pretty excited. The odds of getting really bad news when melanoma comes back (as it has with me) are very high. Melanoma is a nasty, insidious disease in that regard. Thus, in my opinion, getting fairly decent news is a direct answer to our collective prayers.

What to Pray Now: For Dr. Mehran to agree to do the surgery!
(again, the appt. is Thursday, 8/21, at 7:30 a.m.)

Thanks so very much for your prayers for us. One reason I've asked for healing is so that I can join y'all in interceding for the needs of others. I've been so very humbled by your prayers, text messages, emails, blog comments, hugs, acts of service to us Madarians,...I'm anxious to join you in the gap of intercessory prayer.

I'll leave you with a few verses of this hymn I listened to first thing this morning. (Thank you, Selah!). I've highlighted a few lines that really grabbed my heart today. Tears flowed all over my donut...oh well!

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

("Be Still, My Soul" by Katharina von Schlegel, 1752)

With much love, gratitude, and hope,
Mike

p.s. - didn't the dinosaurs disappear in the thoracic age? *smile*

Lipstick on a Pig

You can put all the lipstick you have on a pig, and it's still just a pig with lipstick. (great mental image to start the day, huh? *smile*)

Well, today's appointment is sort of like that. There's just not much of a way to dress it up. After all musings & ponderings about it, it's still a Dr. visit that is very intense. So, I'll not try to make it something it's not. Just the facts, ma'am...

1:30 - appt. with Dr. Homsi

That's it. No tests, nothing else. Just the big appointment.

There are three possible results of yesterday's tests, by way of reminder:

1. The high-dose IL-2 immunotherapy has worked to completion
Scans show no trace of cancer anywhere in my body.

2. The immunotherapy is working
Scans show that the tumors are still there, but are shrinking. This would likely mean another 2-round cycle of IL-2.

3. The immunotherapy is not working
Scans show the melanoma has either grown or spread. This would mean time for plan B. Or C. Or D. It would mean no more IL-2; instead, it would mean chemo or some other protocol.

Obviously #1 is the preferred choice (thank you, Captain Obvious...). #2 would be good too.

Just happened to read Psalm 139 this morning...(OK, I didn't "just happen to read it"...). A few thoughts from David there seem relevant to today.

(Psalm 139 starts)
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
(1-18)

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting! (23-24)
(Psalm 139 ends)

A few takeaway points for me. For us.
--God knows!
--He cares!
--He is ever-present! (One of my favorite names of His is Jehovah Shammah - The Lord Who is Present)
--Even the darkness of, say, an intense appt. @ MDA is not dark to Him!
--I am fearfully and wonderfully made...even with scars on & (perhaps still) cancer floating in my body. All 5'9" of me. Short, slow, and carrying the mass of a guy who's 6'2". Still, fearfully & wonderfully made.
--His works are wonderful! Sometimes this is patently obvious; other times it seems a tad veiled. Either way, though, His works are wonderful.
--He knows all of our days before we're even born. Let that bit of info sink in...

So, pray today that I can remember what I know to be true as we face huge uncertainty with this appointment. Pray that I will subject my human anxiety to the scrutiny and truth of the Word. My God will not be surprised by whatever Dr. Homsi says today. I rest in that, albeit uneasily at times when I allow my human anxiety to overpower the truth.

THANK YOU for praying for us through this journey. Especially today's part.

With love, awe, thanksgiving, and hope,
Mike

p.s. - I'll update asap, but that may be later tonight when we get back to H'burg.

Schedule of today's festivities...

7:30 a.m. - fast begins
(I got to McDonald's just under the wire to have my MDA-sanctioned breakfast of eggs, sausage, and black coffee...I know you're relieved...)

12:12 p.m. - blood/specimen collection
(I'm slightly nervous about the "/specimen" part of this one...)

1:00 - P.E.T. prep
(not sure what my dog & cats have to do with this, but whatever MDA says...*grin*)

1:30 - P.E.T./C.T Injection & Localization
(I think pain is involved in this one...)

3:00 - P.E.T. Melanoma Re-stage
(I believe this is the actual P.E.T. scan...)

5:30 - C.T. Prep

7:00 - C.T. scan of chest, abdomen, & pelvis
(contrast solution...yum, yum!...or not)

8:00 - Chest XRay

9:00 - End fast with a vengeance by pounding down vast, vast quantities of excellent Tex-Mex food at Gringo's
(OK...this one's not on my official MDA schedule...*smile*)

Notice what's NOT on that list:
--lunch - *sigh*...Jim will have to do that all by himself since it will be too painful...& tempting!...to watch
--coffee - not allowed, beyond the really bad cup of black McD's coffee this morning; I'm planning on drinking a couple of pots worth tomorrow...

So, there you have it, sports fans. Just another fun-filled day here @ MDA-land. Some go to 6 Flags over TX, some go to the state fair, some go to baseball & football & basketball games...but we few & fortunate ones get to roam around MDA-land and ride the various, um, "rides" here. I know you're jealous...

Please pray. Obviously, I want good results from all these tests, but more important is accurate results.

Thanks so much for mentioning us before the throne of grace!

With love, appreciation, and hope, I am
In His Grip,
Mike

"And behold, some people brought to him a paralytic, lying on a bed. And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Take heart, my son; your sins are forgiven.”...But Jesus, knowing their thoughts, said, “Why do you think evil in your hearts? For which is easier, to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he then said to the paralytic—“Rise, pick up your bed and go home.” And he rose and went home. When the crowds saw it, they were afraid, and they glorified God, who had given such authority to men."
Matthew 9:2, 4-8

(Mike says) I love the part where you're mentioned here: "seeing their faith...He then said to the paralytic "Rise, pick up your bed, and go home"...THANKS so very much for exercising your faith on my behalf!!