So, Anne seems to have come down with a tonsil infection. Went to Dr. & got some pills for it. As of 11:30 Mon. night, let's just say that they haven't worked yet.
Meanwhile, Lisa & James are heading up to Oxford tomorrow to do apartment stuff for next year (basically, utilities setup + drop off a load of stuff to lighten his load in a few weeks.).
Luckily, tomorrow's my only class night & I need to be @ work for a good part of the day.
Other than those three things, everything's just groovy @ casa Madaris...*huge sigh* (oh, and my nasty treatment next week...almost forgot about that. OK, no I didn't...)
I ask unapologetically for prayers about tomorrow's day (Tues.), especially for Anne's illness. In fact, if you're a night owl reader, prayer for her to sleep tonight would be greatly appreciated. Lisa will have the 1st shift; I'm the early morning guy if needed.
The late, great Mississippi comedian Jerry Clower said it best: "Shoot up here amongst us! One of us has got to have some relief!"
Still & all, though, compared to so many, we're OK.
Grace notes just a-pouring into our lives from so many directions. Recent examples:
--Last night at the church picnic, got 2 different very encouraging medical reports from church friends with cancer who were given pretty bad prognoses a few months ago. Assuming all goes well, the one lady & I said we'll be dancing at next year's picnic; now I just have to decide which song to request. Right now, I'm leaning toward "Play That Funky Music, White Boy"...or "Drop-Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goal Posts of Life" (which is, in fact, an actual song..) *grin*
--Dinner with some friends Saturday evening. She said she wanted to feed us before "everything tastes like metal" for me. We had a great time & some awesome food.
--Hugs from so many Sunday night. If you enjoyed Sunday night too, you're welcome, because the main blessings were apparently aimed my way. *smile*
--Travel arrangements & offers from friends here & elsewhere.
--Phone calls & emails from so many.
--James helped me set up a facebook site. (yeah...I know...pretty scary, huh?) And I have already reconnected with friends from days gone by.
--neighbors tag-teaming on mowing my lawn. "Don't you get out there & get hot & tired...you need to save your strength for the treatments..."
--my buddy William is apparently doing quite well from his heart attack. 2nd stent put in today. After which, he called me from his hospital room!! And I thought I was the one who was supposed to go lift his spirits...(BTW, thanks to those of you who prayed for William!)
--Found a great book for $4.97 @ Lisa's store.
(there are more, but it's way past my bedtime already...)
Thanks so much for your prayers!!
With love & hope--particularly tonight for my 17-year-old baby girl who still needs her Mama to hold her when she's sick,
Mike
p.s. - I'm not sure there's a more helpless feeling than sitting with a sick child & knowing that there's pretty much nothing a Dad can do to make it better...
Monday, June 30, 2008
The matter at hand...
Please pray about the cardio test this week. Will be scheduling it shortly. Naturally, surgery recovery has fairly well eliminated my otherwise regular cardio workout this last month...*sigh*
Assuming that test goes OK, here's the sched again:
Sunday, 7/6 - Lisa, my brother Jim, & I head out to Houston
Monday, 7/7 (morning) over to MDA for one more round of bloodwork, one more Dr. appt., & then off to ICU (*best Howard Dean delivery* "yeaaa!")
Then, 14 heavy doses of IL-2, 1 every 8 hours. That works out to about 5 days of IL-2 doses
(I'm told that there is no extra charge for all the side effects that accompany heavy doses of IL-2...)
Then, 2 days in hospital to recover somewhat, & then home.
So, if all goes as planned, should be home in 7-8 days.
3 weeks of (some semblance of) normality, then back out to MDA for another fun-filled week.
Then re-scan to see where we are. The strong hope/prayer is that those particular scans show that the melanoma is gone. If that would be the case, then there's a great chance of me being cancer-free for a long time. Should that happen, you'll be able to hear the shouts all the way from Dr. Homsi's office @ MDA. Should that not happen, then chemo is still on the table as an option. (note: the odds are not great here, which is generally the case with metastatic melanoma...have I told you lately to use sunscreen? *sigh* One friend said recently, "in light of what you're describing, I've started applying sunscreen when I go to bed at night!" *smile*)
"So, how's your state of mind, Mike?"
Glad you asked. Basically, these things all mixed up:
--palpable fear of IL-2 side effects
--sorrow for putting my family through this
--hope & faith in my Lord Jehovah Rophe/Jehovah Shammah (the Lord Who Heals and Who is Present)
--great joy and blessing in the encouraging words & deeds & prayers of so many.
I have a fairly healthy mental blocking mechanism, which doesn't allow me to dwell for long on what next week will be like. This is a good thing!
As to my faith & hope, both are present. God is absolutely not bound by the laws of probability & statistical tendencies! He does still heal--both supernaturally and through medical process & professionals. (either one would be fine with me...I'm not picky!)
So, there we are, ladies & gents. Thanks so much for reading, for caring, for praying, for serving, & for loving on us. I hope that I will ever be more aware of needs and of how to bless and love through deeds after this bend straightens out. (Assuming it does so)
I had such a blast last night at the community picnic/fireworks show at church. Grooving on the live music (everything from Glenn Miller's "In the Mood" to Creedence's "Born on the Bayou" to the Eagles' "Love Will Keep Us Alive"...), watching kids run & play, getting to chat with many friends, (including one who just completed her last chemo dose and who got some great cancer-related medical news and one who is still in the battle but who got some encouraging news about his tumor as well), and then the time-honored tradition of watching stuff blow up (fireworks). Very therapeutic for me; a great help in getting my head out of the box & seeing life beyond my current issues. Thanks to all who played a part in making that happen!
Off to the eye Dr.! (yeah...despite what I'd like to think, life goes on these days...)
Much love & hope
Mike
Assuming that test goes OK, here's the sched again:
Sunday, 7/6 - Lisa, my brother Jim, & I head out to Houston
Monday, 7/7 (morning) over to MDA for one more round of bloodwork, one more Dr. appt., & then off to ICU (*best Howard Dean delivery* "yeaaa!")
Then, 14 heavy doses of IL-2, 1 every 8 hours. That works out to about 5 days of IL-2 doses
(I'm told that there is no extra charge for all the side effects that accompany heavy doses of IL-2...)
Then, 2 days in hospital to recover somewhat, & then home.
So, if all goes as planned, should be home in 7-8 days.
3 weeks of (some semblance of) normality, then back out to MDA for another fun-filled week.
Then re-scan to see where we are. The strong hope/prayer is that those particular scans show that the melanoma is gone. If that would be the case, then there's a great chance of me being cancer-free for a long time. Should that happen, you'll be able to hear the shouts all the way from Dr. Homsi's office @ MDA. Should that not happen, then chemo is still on the table as an option. (note: the odds are not great here, which is generally the case with metastatic melanoma...have I told you lately to use sunscreen? *sigh* One friend said recently, "in light of what you're describing, I've started applying sunscreen when I go to bed at night!" *smile*)
"So, how's your state of mind, Mike?"
Glad you asked. Basically, these things all mixed up:
--palpable fear of IL-2 side effects
--sorrow for putting my family through this
--hope & faith in my Lord Jehovah Rophe/Jehovah Shammah (the Lord Who Heals and Who is Present)
--great joy and blessing in the encouraging words & deeds & prayers of so many.
I have a fairly healthy mental blocking mechanism, which doesn't allow me to dwell for long on what next week will be like. This is a good thing!
As to my faith & hope, both are present. God is absolutely not bound by the laws of probability & statistical tendencies! He does still heal--both supernaturally and through medical process & professionals. (either one would be fine with me...I'm not picky!)
So, there we are, ladies & gents. Thanks so much for reading, for caring, for praying, for serving, & for loving on us. I hope that I will ever be more aware of needs and of how to bless and love through deeds after this bend straightens out. (Assuming it does so)
I had such a blast last night at the community picnic/fireworks show at church. Grooving on the live music (everything from Glenn Miller's "In the Mood" to Creedence's "Born on the Bayou" to the Eagles' "Love Will Keep Us Alive"...), watching kids run & play, getting to chat with many friends, (including one who just completed her last chemo dose and who got some great cancer-related medical news and one who is still in the battle but who got some encouraging news about his tumor as well), and then the time-honored tradition of watching stuff blow up (fireworks). Very therapeutic for me; a great help in getting my head out of the box & seeing life beyond my current issues. Thanks to all who played a part in making that happen!
Off to the eye Dr.! (yeah...despite what I'd like to think, life goes on these days...)
Much love & hope
Mike
Friday, June 27, 2008
"Let's go to (Inter)leukinbach, Texas..."
OK...why don't we get right to it. Freshen up your coffee; this might take a while.
1. Tests show no obvious evidence of any melanoma spread outside of my lungs. This is based on bloodwork, chest xrays, & various CT scans from Thursday. (note: the radiologist had not read the scans yet, but Dr. Homsi had, and was fairly confident of no spread). Within the context of "metastatic melanoma"--a very bad context to be within--"no spread" is good news. I'll take it.
(truly exciting news ends...much less exciting news continues...)
2. Treatment from here will be immunotheraphy, which means (for me) IL-2 in massive doses. Twice.
(I use the IL-2 abbreviation to avoid trying to spell interleukin...or interlachen--wait, that's the town in Switzerland...or interlocking--no, that's an adjective of some sort...or Lukenbach--no, that's the town Waylon sang about...let's stay with IL-2, shall we? *smile*)
I'll have 2 cycles of this, um, fun, with 3 weeks in between.
Note: I read up a bit on IL-2 & what it is & how it works, but lost consciousness quickly in all the biochemistry & pathophysiology & such; apparently, I was absent the day they taught science in my school system...
3. I'll be admitted to the Intensive Care Unit at MDA as a matter of routine IL-2 procedure prior to beginning my treatment! (um...yikes?)
14 doses (if I can take all 14), one every 8 hours, via IV port. The ICU part is so they can monitor the side effects, not so much because of imminent danger. The side effects (below) can be so intense that some do not get to take all 14 doses. (now there's a yippie-ki-yay moment...)
4. The side effects are quite intense, though they typically end almost immediately after treatment stops. (he said optimistically...)
--nausea & vomiting & diarrhea
--general fatigue - one survivor says during treatment he was as tired as he's ever been in his life. Yet...
--inability to sleep - exhaustion + can't sleep = zero fun, sir!
--flu-like symptoms (fever, chills, muscle aches)
--weight gain due to water retention (there's some great news...*sigh*)
--low blood pressure (MDA & my disease have raised my BP this year...seems only fair for some aspect of it all to turn around & lower my BP...*another sigh*)
--accelerated pulse rate (thus the cardio function test below)
--diminished kidney function
--diminished liver function
--slight decrease in general hot-ness of the male patient (though, naturally, a slight decrease in my hotness might make it easier on the other younger guys around...*grin*)
--increased love of disco & rap music
(OK, those last two are not in the official list of symptoms; but all of the others are...*yet another sigh*)
On the not-entirely-negative side, the side effects tend to cease & to reverse themselves very quickly after treatment is stopped. So, a week of hell-in-an-IV-bag, followed by rapid improvement. As my brother said, it sounds a lot like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer; feels great when you stop! *rimshot* ("Jim Madaris, ladies & gents...he'll be here all week...don't forget to tip your waitress..." *huge grin*)
To qualify for this, medically speaking, one has to pass a lung function test (done that already, prior to lung surgery!), and a cardio function test. (coming this week, hopefully)
(pause & ponder having to pass a heart function and a lung function test in order to be able to take treatments for one's illness...yeah...*sigh again*)
Here's the plan, assuming I pass the cardio function test.
Sunday afternoon, July 6 - head back out to Houston yet again.
Monday, July 7 - head to MDA for bloodwork & an appt. w/ Dr. Homsi, then get checked into hospital's intensive care unit & have IV installed, & then begin treatment.
Then, 14 big hits of IL-2.
After the roughly 5 days of treatment, I'll have 2 more days in the hospital to completely recover, and then I'm outta there, heading back east toward the next you-gotta-be-kidding-me traffic jam courtesy of the Texas Highway Dept (yesterday's was in Beaumont; only an hour & a half this time...{memo to TX Highway Dept: of all of the bad times to close down interstates for construction, Friday afternoon would be the worst time; go crazy next week & try any other time--almost guaranteed to get you fewer complaints. You're welcome. Love, Mike}). So, I'm hoping to be back here in H'burg 7-8 days after leaving.
Word is, I'll feel fairly normal when I leave the hospital.
Then, 3 weeks of...not having IL-2. *faint applause, as at a golf match*
Followed by another sequence of IL-2 (again, 5 days of treatment followed by 2 days of recovery)
Then...*drum roll*...another round of scans to see what the result(s) are.
The strong hope/prayer is that they show zero cancer. This would be absolutely awesome!! Indeed, the possibility of such is precisely why I'm having the IL-2 treatment.
(If there are no good results, then chemo remains on the table...I'm something less than stoked about that possibility...)
Let me say this again: I do NOT think that the time of my departure is at hand just yet, though that time is in the hands of my Lord, as it is for all of us. Metastatic melanoma just creates massive amounts of suction, but mine coming back did not catch God by surprise. He's not scared, nor has He left me, nor will He leave me, nor is He unaware of the side effects of this treatment protocol. He is not wringing His hands wondering how this will all turn out. He's not hopeful, for He knows the end from the beginning; thus where hope is vital for us, it's totally not necessary for Him. Paradoxically, I take great hope in this.
So, how to pray now?
--for serious productivity and serious rest this week for all of us
--for a successful cardio function test (and the scheduling thereof)
--for all the logistics to work out in terms of travel schedules, work schedules, who's going with me, etc.
--**for my illness to be one of those that totally responds to IL-2**; there are a small number of cases of metastatic melanoma in which IL-2 seems to eradicate the illness such the folks remain cancer free for years.
--for my Lord to draw me near to Him through this next unpleasant phase of this unpleasant bend in the road
--for Him to enable me to tolerate the treatments, and to take all 14, with side effects as minimal as He sees fit, with me holding up under whatever effects He allows
--for Lisa, James & Anne, who have to walk this uncertain journey with me - my prayer is that their faith would be strengthened by all this (note: I blessedly have total confidence in them; however, this bend can be quite the faith challenge!)
Thanks so very much for the calls, texts, emails, comments, acts of service, and prayers on our behalf. One of the great blessings of a bend in the road is experiencing first hand the body of Christ being the body of Christ. Thanks for your part in that!
With love and hope even in the midst of sighs,
Mike
p.s. - please pray for my church buddy William Fortenberry today. He suffered a heart attack yesterday afternoon; apparently he'll be OK, but William is (a) younger than I, (b) more active than I, and (c) younger than I (that part bears repeating). He is a great guy, and one of my great friends & prayer warriors through this journey. Married to Stacy, 3 daughters. As I told the friend who called to tell me of William's situation, "were our collective prayer lives so pathetic that it took all of this medical stuff to drive us to our knees"? *smile* Thanks for lifting William & his family up today!
p.p.s. - perhaps the Lord will return before 7/7, which would mean no IL-2 treatment for me...
1. Tests show no obvious evidence of any melanoma spread outside of my lungs. This is based on bloodwork, chest xrays, & various CT scans from Thursday. (note: the radiologist had not read the scans yet, but Dr. Homsi had, and was fairly confident of no spread). Within the context of "metastatic melanoma"--a very bad context to be within--"no spread" is good news. I'll take it.
(truly exciting news ends...much less exciting news continues...)
2. Treatment from here will be immunotheraphy, which means (for me) IL-2 in massive doses. Twice.
(I use the IL-2 abbreviation to avoid trying to spell interleukin...or interlachen--wait, that's the town in Switzerland...or interlocking--no, that's an adjective of some sort...or Lukenbach--no, that's the town Waylon sang about...let's stay with IL-2, shall we? *smile*)
I'll have 2 cycles of this, um, fun, with 3 weeks in between.
Note: I read up a bit on IL-2 & what it is & how it works, but lost consciousness quickly in all the biochemistry & pathophysiology & such; apparently, I was absent the day they taught science in my school system...
3. I'll be admitted to the Intensive Care Unit at MDA as a matter of routine IL-2 procedure prior to beginning my treatment! (um...yikes?)
14 doses (if I can take all 14), one every 8 hours, via IV port. The ICU part is so they can monitor the side effects, not so much because of imminent danger. The side effects (below) can be so intense that some do not get to take all 14 doses. (now there's a yippie-ki-yay moment...)
4. The side effects are quite intense, though they typically end almost immediately after treatment stops. (he said optimistically...)
--nausea & vomiting & diarrhea
--general fatigue - one survivor says during treatment he was as tired as he's ever been in his life. Yet...
--inability to sleep - exhaustion + can't sleep = zero fun, sir!
--flu-like symptoms (fever, chills, muscle aches)
--weight gain due to water retention (there's some great news...*sigh*)
--low blood pressure (MDA & my disease have raised my BP this year...seems only fair for some aspect of it all to turn around & lower my BP...*another sigh*)
--accelerated pulse rate (thus the cardio function test below)
--diminished kidney function
--diminished liver function
--slight decrease in general hot-ness of the male patient (though, naturally, a slight decrease in my hotness might make it easier on the other younger guys around...*grin*)
--increased love of disco & rap music
(OK, those last two are not in the official list of symptoms; but all of the others are...*yet another sigh*)
On the not-entirely-negative side, the side effects tend to cease & to reverse themselves very quickly after treatment is stopped. So, a week of hell-in-an-IV-bag, followed by rapid improvement. As my brother said, it sounds a lot like hitting yourself on the head with a hammer; feels great when you stop! *rimshot* ("Jim Madaris, ladies & gents...he'll be here all week...don't forget to tip your waitress..." *huge grin*)
To qualify for this, medically speaking, one has to pass a lung function test (done that already, prior to lung surgery!), and a cardio function test. (coming this week, hopefully)
(pause & ponder having to pass a heart function and a lung function test in order to be able to take treatments for one's illness...yeah...*sigh again*)
Here's the plan, assuming I pass the cardio function test.
Sunday afternoon, July 6 - head back out to Houston yet again.
Monday, July 7 - head to MDA for bloodwork & an appt. w/ Dr. Homsi, then get checked into hospital's intensive care unit & have IV installed, & then begin treatment.
Then, 14 big hits of IL-2.
After the roughly 5 days of treatment, I'll have 2 more days in the hospital to completely recover, and then I'm outta there, heading back east toward the next you-gotta-be-kidding-me traffic jam courtesy of the Texas Highway Dept (yesterday's was in Beaumont; only an hour & a half this time...{memo to TX Highway Dept: of all of the bad times to close down interstates for construction, Friday afternoon would be the worst time; go crazy next week & try any other time--almost guaranteed to get you fewer complaints. You're welcome. Love, Mike}). So, I'm hoping to be back here in H'burg 7-8 days after leaving.
Word is, I'll feel fairly normal when I leave the hospital.
Then, 3 weeks of...not having IL-2. *faint applause, as at a golf match*
Followed by another sequence of IL-2 (again, 5 days of treatment followed by 2 days of recovery)
Then...*drum roll*...another round of scans to see what the result(s) are.
The strong hope/prayer is that they show zero cancer. This would be absolutely awesome!! Indeed, the possibility of such is precisely why I'm having the IL-2 treatment.
(If there are no good results, then chemo remains on the table...I'm something less than stoked about that possibility...)
Let me say this again: I do NOT think that the time of my departure is at hand just yet, though that time is in the hands of my Lord, as it is for all of us. Metastatic melanoma just creates massive amounts of suction, but mine coming back did not catch God by surprise. He's not scared, nor has He left me, nor will He leave me, nor is He unaware of the side effects of this treatment protocol. He is not wringing His hands wondering how this will all turn out. He's not hopeful, for He knows the end from the beginning; thus where hope is vital for us, it's totally not necessary for Him. Paradoxically, I take great hope in this.
So, how to pray now?
--for serious productivity and serious rest this week for all of us
--for a successful cardio function test (and the scheduling thereof)
--for all the logistics to work out in terms of travel schedules, work schedules, who's going with me, etc.
--**for my illness to be one of those that totally responds to IL-2**; there are a small number of cases of metastatic melanoma in which IL-2 seems to eradicate the illness such the folks remain cancer free for years.
--for my Lord to draw me near to Him through this next unpleasant phase of this unpleasant bend in the road
--for Him to enable me to tolerate the treatments, and to take all 14, with side effects as minimal as He sees fit, with me holding up under whatever effects He allows
--for Lisa, James & Anne, who have to walk this uncertain journey with me - my prayer is that their faith would be strengthened by all this (note: I blessedly have total confidence in them; however, this bend can be quite the faith challenge!)
Thanks so very much for the calls, texts, emails, comments, acts of service, and prayers on our behalf. One of the great blessings of a bend in the road is experiencing first hand the body of Christ being the body of Christ. Thanks for your part in that!
With love and hope even in the midst of sighs,
Mike
p.s. - please pray for my church buddy William Fortenberry today. He suffered a heart attack yesterday afternoon; apparently he'll be OK, but William is (a) younger than I, (b) more active than I, and (c) younger than I (that part bears repeating). He is a great guy, and one of my great friends & prayer warriors through this journey. Married to Stacy, 3 daughters. As I told the friend who called to tell me of William's situation, "were our collective prayer lives so pathetic that it took all of this medical stuff to drive us to our knees"? *smile* Thanks for lifting William & his family up today!
p.p.s. - perhaps the Lord will return before 7/7, which would mean no IL-2 treatment for me...
Wayfaring
Sometimes there just aren't enough words to fully capture one's thoughts. Like today, for example. I just wrote the next paragraph in an email to a friend. Sometimes 1st thoughts are the most accurate, so here's what I said:
Lisa asked last night if I'm worried about today's appt. I'm not worried so much, but on the other hand, today's appt. has dominated my thoughts for the last couple of weeks, including the couple of times I rolled over last night & woke up briefly. I'm not afraid particularly--my denial mechanism works pretty well!--but neither am I excited about it. But at the same time, I am anxious to know what he's going to say. (confused yet? me too!)
A couple of thoughts from greater minds come to my lesser mind this morning. First, David Jeremiah, speaking from Psalm 63:1: "The Lord of the desert is also the Lord of deliverance from it." Almost a throwaway line for him; a lifeline reminder for me.
Then this in the Of First Importance email just this morning. Forgive the length; Horatius Bonar was paying very, very good attention to what the Lord was saying when he captured this. (This is just an excerpt, btw).
“We have only the foretaste now. The full brightness is in reserve, and we know that all that is possible or conceivable of what is good and fair and blessed shall one day be real and visible. Out of all evil there comes the good; out of sin comes holiness; out of darkness, light; out of death, life eternal; out of weakness, strength; out of the fading, the blooming; out of rottenness and ruin, loveliness and majesty; out of the curse come the blessing, the incorruptible, the immortal, the glorious, the undefiled!
Our present portion, however, is but the pledge, not the inheritance. The inheritance is reserved for the appearing of the Lord. Here we see but through a glass darkly. It does not yet appear what we shall be. We are now but as wayfaring men, wandering in the lonely night, who see dimly upon the distant mountain peak the reflection of a sun that never rises here, but which shall never set in the ‘new heavens’ hereafter. And this is enough. It comforts and cheers us on our dark and rugged way. It would not be enough hereafter, but it is enough just now. This wilderness will do for us until we cross into Canaan. The tent will do until the eternal city comes. The joy of believing is enough until we enter on the joy of seeing. ”
Horatius Bonar, “Home”
Now, please note: I do not expect to hear today that "the time of my departure is at hand" just yet. My plan is to stick around for a while, for there are football games to watch, countries to visit, fish to catch, coffee to drink with friends, boats to enjoy, students to teach, articles to write (possibly even a book or 2...one never knows!), and especially loved ones to, well, love. There are many more June 2 anniversaries I'd like to celebrate (only 24 so far!); there are 3 college graduations I'd like to attend--2 undergrad ones, and one Pharm.D. one; there's one more high school graduation I plan on crying over next year; there's one more prom I need to fret over next Spring; there might even be a couple of weddings I plan to be part of in a few years--one as the weepy, embarrassing father of the groom, and one as the weepy, embarrassing father of the bride. There's a condo development on Lake Jordan in AL that I need to visit & walk around & act like I own & built the place (ok, it's my brother's...but I still plan on walking tall there one day soon as if I had anything at all to do with it). There are many more times I need to tread/sit on the beaches of NW FL & S AL...concerts I need to see...books to read...mission trips to take...foreign languages to learn (Russian & Polish are my current desires there; James & I just discussed learning other languages yesterday!)...yards to mow...at least one pastor I need to help hire on the pastor search committee...powerpoint slides to flip in worship services...I think you get the idea. And through it all, it's my strong hope that there are many people my Jesus would choose to impact through me.
So do not read in Bonar's quote any hint of resignation by either him or me. Rather, read the great hope that we have as believers. Hope that brightens our days...this day in particular for me. Quoting Tony Evans once again, when God shows up, any ol' bush (or oncologist's office!) will do.
Thanks doesn't even come close as this day begins, but thanks for holding us up before the throne.
With much love and great hope, and with great faith in the Lord of the desert & of deliverance from it,
Mike
Lisa asked last night if I'm worried about today's appt. I'm not worried so much, but on the other hand, today's appt. has dominated my thoughts for the last couple of weeks, including the couple of times I rolled over last night & woke up briefly. I'm not afraid particularly--my denial mechanism works pretty well!--but neither am I excited about it. But at the same time, I am anxious to know what he's going to say. (confused yet? me too!)
A couple of thoughts from greater minds come to my lesser mind this morning. First, David Jeremiah, speaking from Psalm 63:1: "The Lord of the desert is also the Lord of deliverance from it." Almost a throwaway line for him; a lifeline reminder for me.
Then this in the Of First Importance email just this morning. Forgive the length; Horatius Bonar was paying very, very good attention to what the Lord was saying when he captured this. (This is just an excerpt, btw).
“We have only the foretaste now. The full brightness is in reserve, and we know that all that is possible or conceivable of what is good and fair and blessed shall one day be real and visible. Out of all evil there comes the good; out of sin comes holiness; out of darkness, light; out of death, life eternal; out of weakness, strength; out of the fading, the blooming; out of rottenness and ruin, loveliness and majesty; out of the curse come the blessing, the incorruptible, the immortal, the glorious, the undefiled!
Our present portion, however, is but the pledge, not the inheritance. The inheritance is reserved for the appearing of the Lord. Here we see but through a glass darkly. It does not yet appear what we shall be. We are now but as wayfaring men, wandering in the lonely night, who see dimly upon the distant mountain peak the reflection of a sun that never rises here, but which shall never set in the ‘new heavens’ hereafter. And this is enough. It comforts and cheers us on our dark and rugged way. It would not be enough hereafter, but it is enough just now. This wilderness will do for us until we cross into Canaan. The tent will do until the eternal city comes. The joy of believing is enough until we enter on the joy of seeing. ”
Horatius Bonar, “Home”
Now, please note: I do not expect to hear today that "the time of my departure is at hand" just yet. My plan is to stick around for a while, for there are football games to watch, countries to visit, fish to catch, coffee to drink with friends, boats to enjoy, students to teach, articles to write (possibly even a book or 2...one never knows!), and especially loved ones to, well, love. There are many more June 2 anniversaries I'd like to celebrate (only 24 so far!); there are 3 college graduations I'd like to attend--2 undergrad ones, and one Pharm.D. one; there's one more high school graduation I plan on crying over next year; there's one more prom I need to fret over next Spring; there might even be a couple of weddings I plan to be part of in a few years--one as the weepy, embarrassing father of the groom, and one as the weepy, embarrassing father of the bride. There's a condo development on Lake Jordan in AL that I need to visit & walk around & act like I own & built the place (ok, it's my brother's...but I still plan on walking tall there one day soon as if I had anything at all to do with it). There are many more times I need to tread/sit on the beaches of NW FL & S AL...concerts I need to see...books to read...mission trips to take...foreign languages to learn (Russian & Polish are my current desires there; James & I just discussed learning other languages yesterday!)...yards to mow...at least one pastor I need to help hire on the pastor search committee...powerpoint slides to flip in worship services...I think you get the idea. And through it all, it's my strong hope that there are many people my Jesus would choose to impact through me.
So do not read in Bonar's quote any hint of resignation by either him or me. Rather, read the great hope that we have as believers. Hope that brightens our days...this day in particular for me. Quoting Tony Evans once again, when God shows up, any ol' bush (or oncologist's office!) will do.
Thanks doesn't even come close as this day begins, but thanks for holding us up before the throne.
With much love and great hope, and with great faith in the Lord of the desert & of deliverance from it,
Mike
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Some Fun Things I learned @ MDA today...
--Watching someone eat a Chik-Fil-A sandwich across the table from you when you're not allowed to eat will "fling a craving on you" in the worst way. (to use the late, great Jerry Clower's wonderful phrase
--Apparently, the mere act of walking in MDA as a patient is good for an extra 10-15 points on the systolic & 5-10 points on the diastolic blood pressure reading. *sigh*
--"No, I'm not allergic to anything" spoken in Arabic sounds like dog-cussing. I can only imagine what "So, how's that baby? It's so good to see you!" would sound like...
--I must have looked pretty dadburn bad 3 weeks ago when I checked out of the hospital @ MDA after surgery. I say this because I ran into the surgical resident today who checked us out back then, and she said "You look like a new man!" (Of course, when she last saw me, I was less than 48 hours out from lung surgery, and she was pulling about 4 feet of chest tube out of a small hole in my side...ok, not really 4 feet; it just seemed like it to both Lisa the spectator and me the participant...)
--(this one's very exciting to me personally) In a pharmacological breakthrough, they do, in fact, have CT contrast solution that tastes...not utterly gruesome! *raucous applause from CT scan patients everywhere* I chose "berry flavored," while the older gent nearby chose banana flavored. (Note: the preceding is very different from saying "they've invented good-tasting contrast solution"...Still, though a pleasant surprise to have a taste other than what I imagine old battery acid tastes like...)
--(this one's much less exciting; in fact, it's quite unexciting) *ponders how to say this somewhat delicately* I now know of a 3rd way to deliver CT contrast solution, besides drinking it and having it pumped in through an IV. Let's just be reminded that my CT scans today were upper and lower abdomen. And let's say that I'd rather get stuck multiple times than experience this 3rd delivery vehicle again. (today, I got to experience all three delivery vehicles! Yay! {or not})
--One meets some fascinating people in a place like this. I met an older couple who both have cancer, and who have 2 daughters who have had cancer. Hubby's is somewhat manageable; wife's is considered incurable. His wheelchair had a bumper sticker that said "former P.O.W." Naturally, I had to know. He was a belly gunner in a plane that was shot down by an ME-262 in their first & only encounter with a jet. "What in the world was that??" over the radio was followed by "bail out!" which was followed by capture by the Germans.
When Mrs. got her "incurable" diagnosis this Spring, the daughters fell apart & asked "how long does she have?" To which, Mama said "don't even ask that question! The answer is not up to this Dr.; there's only One Who decides, and He decides for all of us. That's God, of course." She was smiling, laughing, sharing jokes with her hubby & me about the nasty contrast solution, and comparing treatments & surgeries.
And I was struck with awe and great humility just to be in their presence, because I was in the presence of my Lord there in the waiting room of "Diagnostic Imaging-C" as He showed Himself to me through a rather elderly couple. As Tony Evans says, when God shows up, any ol' bush (or waiting room) will do...
Pray for Him to pour out His Spirit in that same way through all of us who claim to be followers of Christ. Pray that for me especially.
Friday's the "here's what's next" appt. I 'spect I'll hear words like "radiation" and "chemo" and the like. Stay tuned. And please keep praying! Thanks so much.
Selah,
Mike
p.s. - James & I had the greatest Tex-Mex meal ever tonight. First, because the food @ Gringo's is awesome. Second, because the company was most excellent. Third, because I didn't get lunch today due to pre-scan predictions. I have to feed this thing regularly, or it'll turn on me...*grin*
--Apparently, the mere act of walking in MDA as a patient is good for an extra 10-15 points on the systolic & 5-10 points on the diastolic blood pressure reading. *sigh*
--"No, I'm not allergic to anything" spoken in Arabic sounds like dog-cussing. I can only imagine what "So, how's that baby? It's so good to see you!" would sound like...
--I must have looked pretty dadburn bad 3 weeks ago when I checked out of the hospital @ MDA after surgery. I say this because I ran into the surgical resident today who checked us out back then, and she said "You look like a new man!" (Of course, when she last saw me, I was less than 48 hours out from lung surgery, and she was pulling about 4 feet of chest tube out of a small hole in my side...ok, not really 4 feet; it just seemed like it to both Lisa the spectator and me the participant...)
--(this one's very exciting to me personally) In a pharmacological breakthrough, they do, in fact, have CT contrast solution that tastes...not utterly gruesome! *raucous applause from CT scan patients everywhere* I chose "berry flavored," while the older gent nearby chose banana flavored. (Note: the preceding is very different from saying "they've invented good-tasting contrast solution"...Still, though a pleasant surprise to have a taste other than what I imagine old battery acid tastes like...)
--(this one's much less exciting; in fact, it's quite unexciting) *ponders how to say this somewhat delicately* I now know of a 3rd way to deliver CT contrast solution, besides drinking it and having it pumped in through an IV. Let's just be reminded that my CT scans today were upper and lower abdomen. And let's say that I'd rather get stuck multiple times than experience this 3rd delivery vehicle again. (today, I got to experience all three delivery vehicles! Yay! {or not})
--One meets some fascinating people in a place like this. I met an older couple who both have cancer, and who have 2 daughters who have had cancer. Hubby's is somewhat manageable; wife's is considered incurable. His wheelchair had a bumper sticker that said "former P.O.W." Naturally, I had to know. He was a belly gunner in a plane that was shot down by an ME-262 in their first & only encounter with a jet. "What in the world was that??" over the radio was followed by "bail out!" which was followed by capture by the Germans.
When Mrs. got her "incurable" diagnosis this Spring, the daughters fell apart & asked "how long does she have?" To which, Mama said "don't even ask that question! The answer is not up to this Dr.; there's only One Who decides, and He decides for all of us. That's God, of course." She was smiling, laughing, sharing jokes with her hubby & me about the nasty contrast solution, and comparing treatments & surgeries.
And I was struck with awe and great humility just to be in their presence, because I was in the presence of my Lord there in the waiting room of "Diagnostic Imaging-C" as He showed Himself to me through a rather elderly couple. As Tony Evans says, when God shows up, any ol' bush (or waiting room) will do...
Pray for Him to pour out His Spirit in that same way through all of us who claim to be followers of Christ. Pray that for me especially.
Friday's the "here's what's next" appt. I 'spect I'll hear words like "radiation" and "chemo" and the like. Stay tuned. And please keep praying! Thanks so much.
Selah,
Mike
p.s. - James & I had the greatest Tex-Mex meal ever tonight. First, because the food @ Gringo's is awesome. Second, because the company was most excellent. Third, because I didn't get lunch today due to pre-scan predictions. I have to feed this thing regularly, or it'll turn on me...*grin*
Final Exams
Remember how the start of final exams felt during HS or college? Where you feel like a quarter on a train track with the locomotive's rumble signaling that the stretching pain is rapidly approaching? Yeah...as I was pondering this day & tomorrow's all-important appt., that's sort of how I feel. This could be a day of revealing great stuff, or a day of getting drilled by what's in store. Much like final exams. (reminder/prayer point: conclusive results of "nothing to see here" on all of these tests would be great news!) On the plus side, 27 hours from now will provide a measure of certainty, and basic financial economics theory says that certainty is preferred to uncertainty. (No charge for that--if anyone runs into Drs. Jean & Helms @ U. of AL's business school, tell them I remembered something they taught me. And be amazed that I still remember something I was taught in grad school back when dinosaurs still roamed the earth...)
We had a great trip out yesterday. Well, except for the near constant rain. And the perpetual road construction that leaves about 6 inches clearance on either side of the car before the concrete barriers. (important note to our great friend: we did not make contact with any of said barriers in your truck! Just so you know...) And the vast, vast number of people for whom driving on an interstate was apparently a brand new experience (memo that was missed by many in W LA & E TX yesterday: the left lane on an interstate would be the passing lane. Thus, the intent is for vehicles in that lane to be going faster than vehicles in the right lane. Also, randomly stomping hard on your brakes at 70 mph in the midst of driving rain is generally contra-indicated. You're welcome; glad I could clear that up for you). It seems that yesterday was "give your car keys to a moron & send them out on the interstate" day in LA & TX. *sigh* (Hold it...a friend gave us his car keys & sent us out on the interstate yesterday...nah, couldn't be. It was all those other people, I tell ya!) Other than that, though, a good trip out. James & I covered a lot of ground in terms of solving the world's problems and listening to great music. We're multi-taskers; we did both at the same time. The musical order of the day was TX roadhouse blues--ZZ Top, followed by Stevie Ray Vaughan. After those 2, it was screaming metal time.
Shortly, James & I will head over to Starbucks for eats & coffee, prior to heading up the road to MDA for the tests this afternoon.
Thanks so much for your prayers, my friends! Give yourself a hug on my behalf today. Seriously, we are humbled, blessed, awed, and most grateful for the grace notes y'all have added to the score of our lives.
With love and hope,
Mike
We had a great trip out yesterday. Well, except for the near constant rain. And the perpetual road construction that leaves about 6 inches clearance on either side of the car before the concrete barriers. (important note to our great friend: we did not make contact with any of said barriers in your truck! Just so you know...) And the vast, vast number of people for whom driving on an interstate was apparently a brand new experience (memo that was missed by many in W LA & E TX yesterday: the left lane on an interstate would be the passing lane. Thus, the intent is for vehicles in that lane to be going faster than vehicles in the right lane. Also, randomly stomping hard on your brakes at 70 mph in the midst of driving rain is generally contra-indicated. You're welcome; glad I could clear that up for you). It seems that yesterday was "give your car keys to a moron & send them out on the interstate" day in LA & TX. *sigh* (Hold it...a friend gave us his car keys & sent us out on the interstate yesterday...nah, couldn't be. It was all those other people, I tell ya!) Other than that, though, a good trip out. James & I covered a lot of ground in terms of solving the world's problems and listening to great music. We're multi-taskers; we did both at the same time. The musical order of the day was TX roadhouse blues--ZZ Top, followed by Stevie Ray Vaughan. After those 2, it was screaming metal time.
Shortly, James & I will head over to Starbucks for eats & coffee, prior to heading up the road to MDA for the tests this afternoon.
Thanks so much for your prayers, my friends! Give yourself a hug on my behalf today. Seriously, we are humbled, blessed, awed, and most grateful for the grace notes y'all have added to the score of our lives.
With love and hope,
Mike
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Along the Road
So, it's road-trip-to-Houston day here, This is trip #4 since the beginning of May. James & I roll out at 11:00 (once again, in a friend's truck that is most graciously loaned to us). Sadly, us small towners have to schedule our trips so as to avoid rush hours. Thus, the plan is to hit Baton Rouge after the lunch hour, and Houston after the evening rush hour (if there actually is "after the rush hour" out there...). Since we don't actually go into Houston proper today, we should be OK traffic-wise. (What was that George Strait song about the famous last words of a fool? *grin*)
I woke up with the song and the poem below on my mind this morning. Thus, they're what you get today. Dan Fogelberg is one of my favorite song writers; when I grow up, I'd like to be able to capture thoughts with words the way he did. For example, his song "To the Morning" has long been a favorite of mine, as has his tribute to his father, "The Leader of the Band." And then there's his "Sutter's Mill" which captures the story of the guy whose discovery of gold sparked the CA gold rush of the mid 1800s. And "Another Auld Lang Syne". And "As the Raven Flies." And...So many excellent stories & poems captured in song. I was greatly saddened to hear of his passing a couple of years ago from prostate cancer. (BTW, if you want to see how songs ought to be written, click the link above and click the "lyrics" tab. Freshen up your coffee first. *smile*)
But I digress. Back on point, I bought the Ashton/Becker/Dente CD years ago just because I heard this song on the radio. I love Dan Fogelberg's singing very much, but these three ladies absolutely knocked this one out of the park.
And just this morning as I was re-pondering the lyrics, I realized that the song captured many of my thoughts about this trip better than I can capture them myself. So, Dan says to you "here's what Mike's thinking today..."
Along the Road
Dan Fogelberg
(recorded by the trio Susan Ashton, Margaret Becker, & Christine Dente)
Joy at the start, fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road.
Along the road, your path may wander
A pilgrim’s faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow stronger
Darkness obscures the trail.
Cursing the quest, courting disaster
Measureless nights forebode
Moments of rest, Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road.
Along the road, your steps may tumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way.
Joy at the start, Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
That's what I have to say about my feelings about this trip. Thanks, Dan.
With Love and Hope,
Mike
I woke up with the song and the poem below on my mind this morning. Thus, they're what you get today. Dan Fogelberg is one of my favorite song writers; when I grow up, I'd like to be able to capture thoughts with words the way he did. For example, his song "To the Morning" has long been a favorite of mine, as has his tribute to his father, "The Leader of the Band." And then there's his "Sutter's Mill" which captures the story of the guy whose discovery of gold sparked the CA gold rush of the mid 1800s. And "Another Auld Lang Syne". And "As the Raven Flies." And...So many excellent stories & poems captured in song. I was greatly saddened to hear of his passing a couple of years ago from prostate cancer. (BTW, if you want to see how songs ought to be written, click the link above and click the "lyrics" tab. Freshen up your coffee first. *smile*)
But I digress. Back on point, I bought the Ashton/Becker/Dente CD years ago just because I heard this song on the radio. I love Dan Fogelberg's singing very much, but these three ladies absolutely knocked this one out of the park.
And just this morning as I was re-pondering the lyrics, I realized that the song captured many of my thoughts about this trip better than I can capture them myself. So, Dan says to you "here's what Mike's thinking today..."
Along the Road
Dan Fogelberg
(recorded by the trio Susan Ashton, Margaret Becker, & Christine Dente)
Joy at the start, fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road.
Along the road, your path may wander
A pilgrim’s faith may fail
Absence makes the heart grow stronger
Darkness obscures the trail.
Cursing the quest, courting disaster
Measureless nights forebode
Moments of rest, Glimpses of laughter
Are treasured along the road.
Along the road, your steps may tumble
Your thoughts may start to stray
But through it all a heart held humble
Levels and lights your way.
Joy at the start, Fear in the journey
Joy in the coming home
A part of the heart gets lost in the learning
Somewhere along the road
That's what I have to say about my feelings about this trip. Thanks, Dan.
Here's tomorrow's schedule:
12:30 - blood/specimen collection (disturbing phrase there...)
12:50 - chest xray
1:45 - followup w/ Dr. Mehran (surgeon who did the VATS)
4:00 - chest/abdomen/pelvis CT scan
6-7ish - TEX MEX food @ Gringo's (hey, this is an important component of the deal! *grin*)
With Love and Hope,
Mike
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Fellowship
Fellowship is a great word, and one that seems to be fading in its use these days. Oh, I'm not so concerned about a word falling out of favor. However, I am most concerned that we apprentices of Jesus Christ seem to be allowing the concept to fade. Practical applications of fellowship are many. “Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Gal 6:2) pretty much covers my understanding of genuine Christian fellowship.
Also this: "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul...And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." (Acts 2:42-47)
Such fellowship should characterize churches this side of the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. True fellowship is made possible as the Holy Spirit fills and draws and unites believers into God-given, God-blessed fellowship. Genuine fellowship is absolutely possible across denominational boundaries. Indeed, there are times when I’ve experienced that sort of fellowship that are particularly sweet to me. Mission trips to Russia & Poland, for example, with folks from multiple denominations all seeking to make Christian inroads into college campus cultures. United by the essentials—the non-negotiables—of the Christian faith, basically focusing on the person & work of Christ.
Or this past Sunday morning at Trinity United Methodist Church in Prattville, AL. A delightful group of people who minister with—and to—my brother and his family. Who think highly of Jim, as they should. And some of whom perhaps think too highly of his brother. *smile* They are well-led by their pastor, Steve, MacInnis. You know how, on occasion, you meet someone and instantly feel like you’ve known them all your life? That’s Steve to me. In fact, it seems that in addition to shared faith & love of our Savior and His church, we also share a love of a well-played rock guitar groove.
We were hugged, encouraged, and loved on mightily Sunday. I had the chance to preach to all three of their worship services, and the Lord showed up. He ministered to me through His Word; apparently, He also ministered to others as well. To my new buddies at Trinity, we had a blast! Thanks for enveloping us into your fellowship and loving us like your own. Thanks also to so many of you who have faithfully prayed for us through this bend in the road. Your prayers are making a huge difference in our lives. In fact, if the Lord spoke to you through my message Sunday morning, consider that the Lord blessing your prayers and ministering to you through them.
(Me? I spoke on that passage right there *points to left side of screen* But despite the quality of preaching, the Lord visited with us; apparently, He still occasionally speaks through donkeys...*smile* Thanks for your prayers for the services!)
Speaking of prayers, at the end of the middle service Sunday, Steve closed out the service by calling my family forward to join me at the altar, and then calling the church to gather around us, lay hands on us, and join him in praying for us--for healing, for comfort, etc. And let me tell you…he prayed down fire on us! (not literally, but pretty dadburn near…) Of so many high points on my spiritual journey recently, surely Steve’s prayer over me ranks right up there. And feeling the press of so many dear saints gathered around us simply added to the holiness and sacredness and, well, awesomeness of the moment. (I use “awesome” here in the truest sense of the word: to be struck with awe…what “awesome” meant before we applied it to pizza.)
The worship at the three services was great. Different vibe in all three, but yet, the same Spirit’s presence in each. Some of my favorite songs of worship: “Victory in Jesus”…“Days of Elijah”…“Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?”…”Praise Adonai”…“At the Cross” (done in a New Orleans-ish groove that was quite good). I've watched my brother do his music thing for many years now, but I do believe that's the first time I've seen his remarkable music skills used in a praise band setting. Good stuff! (Actually, folks who knew us both 30+ years ago would likely be amazed to see Jim helping lead worship, and me preaching...God's grace truly is amazing! {note: I'm not about to confess our sins here; this post is already long, plus the Lord has promised to "remember them no more"...})
Then, lunch w/ Jim & his fam, plus our Mom & one of her friends (she “happened to be in the area” when her baby boy was preaching…*smile*), plus several of Jim’s friends & fams. Then, of course, the obligatory monster power nap followed by yanking the younger generation around on the tube behind Jim’s boat on Lake Jordan. (Sadly, I'm not part of "the younger generation" any more; when did that happen??)
All in all, a great, relaxing, blessed weekend of connecting & of recharging the batteries. There was even a AA baseball game Friday night to watch the Montgomery Biscuits (great name there!) play the Mississippi Braves.
Thanks for your prayers for last Sunday! I’ll leave you with some lyrics from the day.
Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?
Written by Martin Smith ©1995 Curious? Music UK
Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your joy
Dancers who dance upon injustice
Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokeness
And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
(lyrics end)
James & I head out tomorrow for Houston. Tests Thursday, the major appt. w/ Dr. Homsi Friday. With some Tex-Mex & angus burgers thrown in for good measure...*grin*
Thanks for continuing to hold us up before the throne during this bend in the road!
With much love and great hope,
Mike
Also this: "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul...And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." (Acts 2:42-47)
Such fellowship should characterize churches this side of the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. True fellowship is made possible as the Holy Spirit fills and draws and unites believers into God-given, God-blessed fellowship. Genuine fellowship is absolutely possible across denominational boundaries. Indeed, there are times when I’ve experienced that sort of fellowship that are particularly sweet to me. Mission trips to Russia & Poland, for example, with folks from multiple denominations all seeking to make Christian inroads into college campus cultures. United by the essentials—the non-negotiables—of the Christian faith, basically focusing on the person & work of Christ.
Or this past Sunday morning at Trinity United Methodist Church in Prattville, AL. A delightful group of people who minister with—and to—my brother and his family. Who think highly of Jim, as they should. And some of whom perhaps think too highly of his brother. *smile* They are well-led by their pastor, Steve, MacInnis. You know how, on occasion, you meet someone and instantly feel like you’ve known them all your life? That’s Steve to me. In fact, it seems that in addition to shared faith & love of our Savior and His church, we also share a love of a well-played rock guitar groove.
We were hugged, encouraged, and loved on mightily Sunday. I had the chance to preach to all three of their worship services, and the Lord showed up. He ministered to me through His Word; apparently, He also ministered to others as well. To my new buddies at Trinity, we had a blast! Thanks for enveloping us into your fellowship and loving us like your own. Thanks also to so many of you who have faithfully prayed for us through this bend in the road. Your prayers are making a huge difference in our lives. In fact, if the Lord spoke to you through my message Sunday morning, consider that the Lord blessing your prayers and ministering to you through them.
(Me? I spoke on that passage right there *points to left side of screen* But despite the quality of preaching, the Lord visited with us; apparently, He still occasionally speaks through donkeys...*smile* Thanks for your prayers for the services!)
Speaking of prayers, at the end of the middle service Sunday, Steve closed out the service by calling my family forward to join me at the altar, and then calling the church to gather around us, lay hands on us, and join him in praying for us--for healing, for comfort, etc. And let me tell you…he prayed down fire on us! (not literally, but pretty dadburn near…) Of so many high points on my spiritual journey recently, surely Steve’s prayer over me ranks right up there. And feeling the press of so many dear saints gathered around us simply added to the holiness and sacredness and, well, awesomeness of the moment. (I use “awesome” here in the truest sense of the word: to be struck with awe…what “awesome” meant before we applied it to pizza.)
The worship at the three services was great. Different vibe in all three, but yet, the same Spirit’s presence in each. Some of my favorite songs of worship: “Victory in Jesus”…“Days of Elijah”…“Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble?”…”Praise Adonai”…“At the Cross” (done in a New Orleans-ish groove that was quite good). I've watched my brother do his music thing for many years now, but I do believe that's the first time I've seen his remarkable music skills used in a praise band setting. Good stuff! (Actually, folks who knew us both 30+ years ago would likely be amazed to see Jim helping lead worship, and me preaching...God's grace truly is amazing! {note: I'm not about to confess our sins here; this post is already long, plus the Lord has promised to "remember them no more"...})
Then, lunch w/ Jim & his fam, plus our Mom & one of her friends (she “happened to be in the area” when her baby boy was preaching…*smile*), plus several of Jim’s friends & fams. Then, of course, the obligatory monster power nap followed by yanking the younger generation around on the tube behind Jim’s boat on Lake Jordan. (Sadly, I'm not part of "the younger generation" any more; when did that happen??)
All in all, a great, relaxing, blessed weekend of connecting & of recharging the batteries. There was even a AA baseball game Friday night to watch the Montgomery Biscuits (great name there!) play the Mississippi Braves.
Thanks for your prayers for last Sunday! I’ll leave you with some lyrics from the day.
Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?
Written by Martin Smith ©1995 Curious? Music UK
Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing of
Jesus Christ the risen one
And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your joy
Dancers who dance upon injustice
Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokeness
And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord
(lyrics end)
James & I head out tomorrow for Houston. Tests Thursday, the major appt. w/ Dr. Homsi Friday. With some Tex-Mex & angus burgers thrown in for good measure...*grin*
Thanks for continuing to hold us up before the throne during this bend in the road!
With much love and great hope,
Mike
Thursday, June 19, 2008
One More Week...
Thurs., 6/26 - one more batch of scans & tests @ MDA
Fri., 6/27 - the all-important "here's what we're going to do" appt. w/ Dr. Homsi
James will be heading out there with me this time, btw.
Here are some prayer points, if you're wondering how to pray...
--patience
I need more of this, & I need it now. *rimshot* Seriously, waiting on these scans, results, & appts. is not so much fun for any of us. It's like there's this huge cloud over us that is going to unload at some point, though it's not clear just how bad the deluge will be.
--safe travel next week
It's about 7 1/2 hours there, through some desolate country followed by some very serious traffic. Then, getting around the Houston metro area is rather special for a small town dude like me. We plan to head out Wednesday sometime, and will head back either Friday afternoon/evening or Saturday morning.
--accurate and good test & scan results
We want to know accurately whether this beast has spread or not. ("Not" is most definitely the preferred answer...) The answer to this question directly impacts what my future treatment will be. Not having spread would be great.
--wisdom for Dr. Homsi as to how to proceed from here (wherever "here" is)
He's very good, but "very good" + "God-given wisdom" is a nice combo.
--peace & rest for Lisa & me
We're tired. Just plain ol' worn-out tired. (whining alert) It wears on one being under the gun for 5 1/2 months & counting...
--lack of fear regarding what lies ahead
I'd love to be all noble & spiritual; however, I am afraid of chemo, quite honestly. I have lost some productivity and a small amount of sleep pondering the possibility. Sinful, to be sure; I'm guilty. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!
--Of course, miraculous healing would work too! *smile*
One more thing to pray about:
We're heading over to my brother's place in the suburbs of Slapout, AL (north of Montgomery) for a long-overdue weekend of hanging out & catching up. Sunday morning, I'm preaching all 3 services at their church. Apparently, it's pretty hard to find preaching help these days...because I'm not sure they've actually found any for this weekend...(supply your own punchline here)
Please pray for the Lord to speak through this jar of clay Sunday morning. (guess what my text is...)
Thanks for putting the grace notes into our lives in recent days! Your prayers, notes, calls, emails, food, and friendship are a huge blessing to us during this bend in the road. I'm ready to be on the other side of this bend in order to be a grace note giver rather than always having to be the recipient.
With love and hope,
Mike
p.s. - Please keep my buddy Jason Weathers & his family in your prayers. He's having a rough go of it this week after contracting pneumonia after his latest round of chemo. Go here to get all of the details. As you pray for Jason, please remember his wife Stephanie & their 3 children. Talk about tired...they are worn out. And their bend has not straightened out yet...As much as I've whined here about our situation, ours is nowhere near where they are & have been. Thanks (in advance) for praying for them too. You can easily post encouraging words to Jason & Stephanie on their site, btw.
Fri., 6/27 - the all-important "here's what we're going to do" appt. w/ Dr. Homsi
James will be heading out there with me this time, btw.
Here are some prayer points, if you're wondering how to pray...
--patience
I need more of this, & I need it now. *rimshot* Seriously, waiting on these scans, results, & appts. is not so much fun for any of us. It's like there's this huge cloud over us that is going to unload at some point, though it's not clear just how bad the deluge will be.
--safe travel next week
It's about 7 1/2 hours there, through some desolate country followed by some very serious traffic. Then, getting around the Houston metro area is rather special for a small town dude like me. We plan to head out Wednesday sometime, and will head back either Friday afternoon/evening or Saturday morning.
--accurate and good test & scan results
We want to know accurately whether this beast has spread or not. ("Not" is most definitely the preferred answer...) The answer to this question directly impacts what my future treatment will be. Not having spread would be great.
--wisdom for Dr. Homsi as to how to proceed from here (wherever "here" is)
He's very good, but "very good" + "God-given wisdom" is a nice combo.
--peace & rest for Lisa & me
We're tired. Just plain ol' worn-out tired. (whining alert) It wears on one being under the gun for 5 1/2 months & counting...
--lack of fear regarding what lies ahead
I'd love to be all noble & spiritual; however, I am afraid of chemo, quite honestly. I have lost some productivity and a small amount of sleep pondering the possibility. Sinful, to be sure; I'm guilty. Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!
--Of course, miraculous healing would work too! *smile*
One more thing to pray about:
We're heading over to my brother's place in the suburbs of Slapout, AL (north of Montgomery) for a long-overdue weekend of hanging out & catching up. Sunday morning, I'm preaching all 3 services at their church. Apparently, it's pretty hard to find preaching help these days...because I'm not sure they've actually found any for this weekend...(supply your own punchline here)
Please pray for the Lord to speak through this jar of clay Sunday morning. (guess what my text is...)
Thanks for putting the grace notes into our lives in recent days! Your prayers, notes, calls, emails, food, and friendship are a huge blessing to us during this bend in the road. I'm ready to be on the other side of this bend in order to be a grace note giver rather than always having to be the recipient.
With love and hope,
Mike
p.s. - Please keep my buddy Jason Weathers & his family in your prayers. He's having a rough go of it this week after contracting pneumonia after his latest round of chemo. Go here to get all of the details. As you pray for Jason, please remember his wife Stephanie & their 3 children. Talk about tired...they are worn out. And their bend has not straightened out yet...As much as I've whined here about our situation, ours is nowhere near where they are & have been. Thanks (in advance) for praying for them too. You can easily post encouraging words to Jason & Stephanie on their site, btw.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
On Affliction
Sometimes, God's word & teaching comes and rests easily on us. For example, "you are loved with an everlasting love..." Incredible teaching...and easy to take to heart.
Other times, the Word comes with difficulty, and is not at all easy to take to heart.
For example, consider this, from the amazing Psalm 119:
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word...It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.
(Psalm 119:67, 71)
This is one of the biblical passages & concepts that's not difficult to teach in Sunday School. But it is most difficult to teach to those questioning eyes looking back in the mirror every morning. (Aside: it seems that one of the things the Lord is doing for/to/in me these days is helping me examine my own teaching to make sure I don't teach too easily nor with excess difficulty. And to make sure I genuinely believe what I teach and try hard to practice it.)
Here's John Piper on 5 ways affliction is good for us:
(quote begins)
(quote ends; entire blurb found here in an article called God's Painful Exegetical Help)
Join me in praying for these lessons--and others--to be completely learned by me while in this desert. Selfishly, I'd like to learn these lessons quickly, so we can get on with life after & without this disease. *sigh* But I really do pray that I would not "begrudge the pedagogy of God."
Personal Update:
--I'm driving now!! (*faint applause, as at a golf tournament*)
I felt like a 16-year-old with a brand-new license yesterday; perhaps we take simple pleasures too much for granted until they are taken away...
--Feeling pretty good, though still quite tired
I think the tiredness is a general malaise due to 6 months of tests, wondering, emotional roller coasters, and a bit of fear tossed in.
--On the verge of being caught up at work
In fact, by the end of today, I should be pretty close to there!
--Going fishing today, weather permitting
(or perhaps despite the weather!) Way, way overdue...
--Spent a great day yesterday hanging out with a buddy from high school who lives in CO.
He flew down to see his Dad in Ft. Walton Beach, and drove over here to see me. We hung out much back in HS days...jazz & marching band, class, juvenile delinquency, the works. It is a great honor and blessing that he took the time & $$ to rent a car & drive over to H'burg for a few hours hanging with me.
OK, work break's over.
With Love & Hope in the midst of God's school,
Mike
Other times, the Word comes with difficulty, and is not at all easy to take to heart.
For example, consider this, from the amazing Psalm 119:
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word...It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes.
(Psalm 119:67, 71)
This is one of the biblical passages & concepts that's not difficult to teach in Sunday School. But it is most difficult to teach to those questioning eyes looking back in the mirror every morning. (Aside: it seems that one of the things the Lord is doing for/to/in me these days is helping me examine my own teaching to make sure I don't teach too easily nor with excess difficulty. And to make sure I genuinely believe what I teach and try hard to practice it.)
Here's John Piper on 5 ways affliction is good for us:
(quote begins)
I pray that we will not begrudge the pedagogy of God.1. Affliction takes the glibness of life away and makes us more serious so that our mindset is more in tune with the seriousness of God’s word.
2. Affliction knocks worldly props from under us and forces us to rely more on God which brings us more in tune with the aim of the word.
3. Affliction makes us search the scriptures with greater desperation for help rather than treating it as marginal to life.
4. Affliction brings us into the fellowship of Christ’s sufferings so that we fellowship more closely with him and see the world more readily through his eyes.
5. Affliction mortifies deceitful and distracting fleshly desires, and so brings us into a more spiritual frame which fits God’s word more.
(quote ends; entire blurb found here in an article called God's Painful Exegetical Help)
Join me in praying for these lessons--and others--to be completely learned by me while in this desert. Selfishly, I'd like to learn these lessons quickly, so we can get on with life after & without this disease. *sigh* But I really do pray that I would not "begrudge the pedagogy of God."
Personal Update:
--I'm driving now!! (*faint applause, as at a golf tournament*)
I felt like a 16-year-old with a brand-new license yesterday; perhaps we take simple pleasures too much for granted until they are taken away...
--Feeling pretty good, though still quite tired
I think the tiredness is a general malaise due to 6 months of tests, wondering, emotional roller coasters, and a bit of fear tossed in.
--On the verge of being caught up at work
In fact, by the end of today, I should be pretty close to there!
--Going fishing today, weather permitting
(or perhaps despite the weather!) Way, way overdue...
--Spent a great day yesterday hanging out with a buddy from high school who lives in CO.
He flew down to see his Dad in Ft. Walton Beach, and drove over here to see me. We hung out much back in HS days...jazz & marching band, class, juvenile delinquency, the works. It is a great honor and blessing that he took the time & $$ to rent a car & drive over to H'burg for a few hours hanging with me.
OK, work break's over.
With Love & Hope in the midst of God's school,
Mike
Thursday, June 12, 2008
On Platelet Donation...
A friend suggested I post some more details about platelet donation (thanks E!), so here's what I found out
How Long Does it Take to Donate Platelets?
2 hours or less, including the survey questions you're asked.
The donation itself takes about an hour & 20 minutes. (Bring a book! I recommend The Last Coach which is, of course, a classic piece of literature about legendary Bama football coach Paul W. "Bear" Bryant...*grin*)
Can you catch a dreadful disease donating blood or platelets?
Nope. Sharps are used once & tossed.
Does it hurt?
Depends upon your feelings about getting stuck in the arm and about helping others in a HUGE way.
My thoughts: (a) it doesn't hurt too bad, and (b) would you undergo a small amount of pain in order to help save someone's life?
Who can give platelets?
Donors must be at least 17 years of age, weigh at least 110 pounds and be in good health.
(I used to be 17...let's see...it was 10, no...25, no...*ponders*...*sighs*...it was back in the Gerald Ford Administration, I believe...And believe it or not, I also used to weigh 110 pounds...Dadburn, I'm now depressed! Oh well, I do, in fact, still weigh "at least 110 pounds"...*grin*)
Along with meeting the criteria for whole blood donors, they have one added restriction which is NO ASPIRIN or anything containing aspirin or Piroxicam (Feldene) can be taken 72 hours before donation.
Go here for more basic info. And here is a helpful guide to the questions you'll be asked.
--(For H'burg folks) Where in the round world is United Blood Services??
United Blood Services is located on S. 28th
Drive on 28th between Forrest Gen'l Hospital and the H'burg Clinic facility (under the walkway between the two), and keep going. UBS will be on your right. Park around back, though the door is around front facing S. 28th.
Call 601-264-0743 (UBS) for more info.
--(for folks not in H'burg)
I strongly encourage you to prayerfully consider donating platelets at your nearest blood donation center. If it's a UBS facility, you can still donate on behalf of Jason Weathers, should you be so inclined. (For a list of UBS facilities around the country, click here) But that aside, please donate, whether you do so for Jason or not. I almost guarantee that your local medical community could use some platelet donors too.
Thanks so much, my friends!
With Love & Hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7-8, 16-18
How Long Does it Take to Donate Platelets?
2 hours or less, including the survey questions you're asked.
The donation itself takes about an hour & 20 minutes. (Bring a book! I recommend The Last Coach which is, of course, a classic piece of literature about legendary Bama football coach Paul W. "Bear" Bryant...*grin*)
Can you catch a dreadful disease donating blood or platelets?
Nope. Sharps are used once & tossed.
Does it hurt?
Depends upon your feelings about getting stuck in the arm and about helping others in a HUGE way.
My thoughts: (a) it doesn't hurt too bad, and (b) would you undergo a small amount of pain in order to help save someone's life?
Who can give platelets?
Donors must be at least 17 years of age, weigh at least 110 pounds and be in good health.
(I used to be 17...let's see...it was 10, no...25, no...*ponders*...*sighs*...it was back in the Gerald Ford Administration, I believe...And believe it or not, I also used to weigh 110 pounds...Dadburn, I'm now depressed! Oh well, I do, in fact, still weigh "at least 110 pounds"...*grin*)
Along with meeting the criteria for whole blood donors, they have one added restriction which is NO ASPIRIN or anything containing aspirin or Piroxicam (Feldene) can be taken 72 hours before donation.
Go here for more basic info. And here is a helpful guide to the questions you'll be asked.
--(For H'burg folks) Where in the round world is United Blood Services??
United Blood Services is located on S. 28th
Drive on 28th between Forrest Gen'l Hospital and the H'burg Clinic facility (under the walkway between the two), and keep going. UBS will be on your right. Park around back, though the door is around front facing S. 28th.
Call 601-264-0743 (UBS) for more info.
--(for folks not in H'burg)
I strongly encourage you to prayerfully consider donating platelets at your nearest blood donation center. If it's a UBS facility, you can still donate on behalf of Jason Weathers, should you be so inclined. (For a list of UBS facilities around the country, click here) But that aside, please donate, whether you do so for Jason or not. I almost guarantee that your local medical community could use some platelet donors too.
Thanks so much, my friends!
With Love & Hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7-8, 16-18
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Back in the Saddle Again...
Went back to work Monday. (Which my colleagues appreciate, as this means they can go back to just doing their own jobs & teaching their own students now. Last week, they did their jobs and mine too, and taught my students plus their own. With zero complaints, by the way. Thanks to all of the WCU School of Business faculty who have carried my load pretty much all year...Here's hoping I'm soon able to be a giver-back & not just a taker-from...)
It was Anne's turn to "drive Mr. Mike" yesterday. She got me to the office around 10:00 a.m., where I stayed until after class around 10:00 p.m. It was great to be back being a (more or less) contributing member of the School of Business faculty!! I'd love to say that the 12-hour day caught me up; but I don't want to tell a bald-faced lie like that. At least, not this early in the morning...*smile* Let's just say that I'm somewhat less far behind this morning than I was yesterday morning...
My online graduate class met last night, live & in living color. Which was very therapeutic for me, watching them in groups grapple with a couple of business ethical issues through 5 different ethical frameworks. Getting all philosophical & all...
Shoot, I even enjoyed lunch @ the school cafeteria in the midst of what felt like several thousand little guys there for baseball camp and another few hundred high schoolers there for music camp. (aside: give me 42 graduate students battling to understand the moral philosophy of deontology any day over a dozen little guys under the influence of baseball, sun, dirt, sugar, cokes, burgers/fries, & ice cream...)
Woke up this morning with a surprising amount of discomfort on my left side. My theory is that it's getting re-adjusted to sitting in my chair @ work all day. Or, it could be just a plain & simple "I'm gettin' old" day...In other words, I'm not sure this morning's pain has one thing in the world to do with melanoma, other than being in the same physical body with it.
Is it June 26th yet??? *smile*
Thanks for the prayers & notes & calls & such. Never underestimate the amazing power of an encouraging word to one who's under the gun as we are! And know that we greatly love & appreciate you! (I'd hug you, but I'm kind of sore...go ahead & declare yourself hugged...)
With much love and great hope,
Mike
p.s. - Important word directly from my oncologist, on my friend Jason's site:
It was Anne's turn to "drive Mr. Mike" yesterday. She got me to the office around 10:00 a.m., where I stayed until after class around 10:00 p.m. It was great to be back being a (more or less) contributing member of the School of Business faculty!! I'd love to say that the 12-hour day caught me up; but I don't want to tell a bald-faced lie like that. At least, not this early in the morning...*smile* Let's just say that I'm somewhat less far behind this morning than I was yesterday morning...
My online graduate class met last night, live & in living color. Which was very therapeutic for me, watching them in groups grapple with a couple of business ethical issues through 5 different ethical frameworks. Getting all philosophical & all...
Shoot, I even enjoyed lunch @ the school cafeteria in the midst of what felt like several thousand little guys there for baseball camp and another few hundred high schoolers there for music camp. (aside: give me 42 graduate students battling to understand the moral philosophy of deontology any day over a dozen little guys under the influence of baseball, sun, dirt, sugar, cokes, burgers/fries, & ice cream...)
Woke up this morning with a surprising amount of discomfort on my left side. My theory is that it's getting re-adjusted to sitting in my chair @ work all day. Or, it could be just a plain & simple "I'm gettin' old" day...In other words, I'm not sure this morning's pain has one thing in the world to do with melanoma, other than being in the same physical body with it.
Is it June 26th yet??? *smile*
Thanks for the prayers & notes & calls & such. Never underestimate the amazing power of an encouraging word to one who's under the gun as we are! And know that we greatly love & appreciate you! (I'd hug you, but I'm kind of sore...go ahead & declare yourself hugged...)
With much love and great hope,
Mike
p.s. - Important word directly from my oncologist, on my friend Jason's site:
WE NEED PLATELETS!!!!!!! WE HAD TO WAIT A WHILE TO GET JASON'S PLATELETS TODAY, AND I HAVE AT LEAST 4 OTHER LEUKEMICS WHO NEED PLATELETS. PLEASE ROLL UP YOUR SLEEVES AND DONATE PLATELETS FOR JASON AS WELL AS THE OTHERS OF GOD'S CHILDREN WHO NEED THEM.
NAGEN BELLARE
So, if you're able, go change someone's life with your platelets today or tomorrow. Don't live in H'burg? My guess is, the same need exists wherever you are, so consider this a general "you oughta" that is not bound by geography. In Jason's case, the platelets are *crucial* to his recovery after his rounds of chemo.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Next Steps (sort of)
Just got another call. (This one was one I actually wanted! *smile*)
June 26 - "Re-staging" tests & scans @ M.D. Anderson
chest/abdomen/pelvic CT scan; chest xrays; bloodwork
June 27 - appt. w/ Dr. Homsi
(medical melanoma Dr.; click on his name in the line above for more info)
I've had all of those tests & scans this Spring; last month, even! The hope (huge prayer point!) is that all of them continue to show that my cancer has not spread beyond my lungs.
Assuming that's the case, then the Friday appt. w/ Dr. Homsi will lay out what future treatment looks like. There's a real good chance this can be done here! That would be groovy, but hear me say, we're willing to go wherever & whenever to do whatever helps take care of this situation.
So, I 'spose the immediate prayer points are these:
--accurate test/scan results showing that cancer has not spread beyond lungs
--wisdom for Dr. Homsi & his team (note: they're very, very good; still, "very, very good" + the Lord's guidance = outstanding combo...)
--peace these next 3 weeks for us
--productivity @ work for me; I'm very far behind. Thankfully, I have a forgiving & patient boss, but I don't want to keep making her have to forgive me & be patient with me...Plus, my colleagues are likely tired of having to do my work in addition to their own. (Thanks, guys!!)
Thank you so very much for continuing to pray us around this bend. I hope I never tire of thanking you. BTW, to those of you here, I'm actually right close to being able to actually hug; so come near at your own risk...
With much love and great hope in a BIG God,
Mike
p.s. - Don't forget: "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again! The lame will leap! The dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb!" Do you know that Lamb? Hope so, for as the song continues, He "is the great I Am..."
June 26 - "Re-staging" tests & scans @ M.D. Anderson
chest/abdomen/pelvic CT scan; chest xrays; bloodwork
June 27 - appt. w/ Dr. Homsi
(medical melanoma Dr.; click on his name in the line above for more info)
I've had all of those tests & scans this Spring; last month, even! The hope (huge prayer point!) is that all of them continue to show that my cancer has not spread beyond my lungs.
Assuming that's the case, then the Friday appt. w/ Dr. Homsi will lay out what future treatment looks like. There's a real good chance this can be done here! That would be groovy, but hear me say, we're willing to go wherever & whenever to do whatever helps take care of this situation.
So, I 'spose the immediate prayer points are these:
--accurate test/scan results showing that cancer has not spread beyond lungs
--wisdom for Dr. Homsi & his team (note: they're very, very good; still, "very, very good" + the Lord's guidance = outstanding combo...)
--peace these next 3 weeks for us
--productivity @ work for me; I'm very far behind. Thankfully, I have a forgiving & patient boss, but I don't want to keep making her have to forgive me & be patient with me...Plus, my colleagues are likely tired of having to do my work in addition to their own. (Thanks, guys!!)
Thank you so very much for continuing to pray us around this bend. I hope I never tire of thanking you. BTW, to those of you here, I'm actually right close to being able to actually hug; so come near at your own risk...
With much love and great hope in a BIG God,
Mike
p.s. - Don't forget: "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again! The lame will leap! The dumb will speak the praises of the Lamb!" Do you know that Lamb? Hope so, for as the song continues, He "is the great I Am..."
Thursday, June 5, 2008
A Couple of Things
I threw a doozy of a pity party last night. Tears, mostly, with some "but God, why?" thoughts mixed in for good measure. (Thankfully, He has promised not to hold my humanity against me...hope you don't either!) Two things happened to yank me out of it & get me back toward course.
1) my brother called
He's become my best friend, other than Lisa, and his phone call & emotions shared were a tonic for my soul.
2) Right after that, while aimlessly channel surfing, I landed on a channel I never watch. Got there just in time to catch the tail end of a Mark Lawry comedy monologue that led into him singing his incredible song, "Mary Did You Know?" As he always does, he knocked it out of the park. Chill bumps ran up & down my spine, as they always do in that song. But then, Mark himself teared up while singing the bridge; thus, I did too. "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again; the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the lamb..." At that point, it was as if the chills had gone beyond merely my spine and were running up & down the depths of my soul. (aside: aren't you glad Mark was paying attention to what the Spirit was saying to write that day??)
Hearing my Lord celebrated in such an awesome way (one of the best songs the Holy Spirit has inspired this side of the Psalms, imo) just after chatting with my beloved brother blessed my soul and restored it a good bit in ways I cannot capture with mere words.
There's a wonderful scene in Lewis' Prince Caspian in which Lucy is surprised to see that Aslan seems so much bigger after all these years. Aslan replies, “I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”
May we all "find Him bigger" today than yesterday. Especially me.
Thank you for your prayers on our behalf. We are greatly humbled and highly honored that so many are standing in the gap for us in this bend in the road.
With much love and great hope, because He is bigger,
Mike - just a jar of clay
p.s. - Got 4 minutes & 12 seconds? Want to have your socks blessed off? Check this out. It's not the version I saw last night, but it's the same intensity of emotions. (Note David Phelps wiping his eyes in the background just before starting to sing) Plus, having Guy Penrod & David Phelps backing you up is not bad at all...*smile* There are many versions of this song out there, all good. But I prefer Mark himself, since he's the one who was present as the Holy Spirit was giving him these lyrics. Can you imagine what he & Buddy experienced the first time they sang their piece in public?
1) my brother called
He's become my best friend, other than Lisa, and his phone call & emotions shared were a tonic for my soul.
2) Right after that, while aimlessly channel surfing, I landed on a channel I never watch. Got there just in time to catch the tail end of a Mark Lawry comedy monologue that led into him singing his incredible song, "Mary Did You Know?" As he always does, he knocked it out of the park. Chill bumps ran up & down my spine, as they always do in that song. But then, Mark himself teared up while singing the bridge; thus, I did too. "The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again; the lame will leap, the dumb will speak the praises of the lamb..." At that point, it was as if the chills had gone beyond merely my spine and were running up & down the depths of my soul. (aside: aren't you glad Mark was paying attention to what the Spirit was saying to write that day??)
Hearing my Lord celebrated in such an awesome way (one of the best songs the Holy Spirit has inspired this side of the Psalms, imo) just after chatting with my beloved brother blessed my soul and restored it a good bit in ways I cannot capture with mere words.
There's a wonderful scene in Lewis' Prince Caspian in which Lucy is surprised to see that Aslan seems so much bigger after all these years. Aslan replies, “I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”
May we all "find Him bigger" today than yesterday. Especially me.
Thank you for your prayers on our behalf. We are greatly humbled and highly honored that so many are standing in the gap for us in this bend in the road.
With much love and great hope, because He is bigger,
Mike - just a jar of clay
p.s. - Got 4 minutes & 12 seconds? Want to have your socks blessed off? Check this out. It's not the version I saw last night, but it's the same intensity of emotions. (Note David Phelps wiping his eyes in the background just before starting to sing) Plus, having Guy Penrod & David Phelps backing you up is not bad at all...*smile* There are many versions of this song out there, all good. But I prefer Mark himself, since he's the one who was present as the Holy Spirit was giving him these lyrics. Can you imagine what he & Buddy experienced the first time they sang their piece in public?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Lab Results *NOW KNOWN*
JUST HEARD FROM MDA: the 3 spots were, in face, metastatic melanoma.
Thus, I've been referred back to Dr. Homsi, my initial Dr. out there. Should hear from him in the next day or so.
Here's my fairly unvarnished thinking @ the moment:
--not a good diagnosis, but...
--those three spots are not only diagnosed; they are also now treated. (because they're gone)
--there are 2 spots remaining that we know of
--the cancer remains confined to a single organ (lungs)
--I haven't a clue what the future medical treatment will be, but I predict/expect a combo of radiation + chemo or hormones
--on balance, I'm still optimistic here. My Lord still rules & reigns, and nothing comes to us that is not filtered through His hands. Not even metastatic melanoma.
Your prayers are now more welcome--and needed--than ever!!
Thanks so much for holding us up in prayer during this extended bend in the road.
(my original post earlier today follows)
Today's been a low-energy day. Half a degree of fever this morning; fever gone now. Haven't felt like doing much of anything, and thus haven't actually done much of anything.
Apparently, this recovery will be more of a process than I wanted it to be. Rats!
Still & all, I'm good. Just impatient about how I feel. Thanks so much for continuing to pray us through this!
With love & hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7,8; 16-18
Thus, I've been referred back to Dr. Homsi, my initial Dr. out there. Should hear from him in the next day or so.
Here's my fairly unvarnished thinking @ the moment:
--not a good diagnosis, but...
--those three spots are not only diagnosed; they are also now treated. (because they're gone)
--there are 2 spots remaining that we know of
--the cancer remains confined to a single organ (lungs)
--I haven't a clue what the future medical treatment will be, but I predict/expect a combo of radiation + chemo or hormones
--on balance, I'm still optimistic here. My Lord still rules & reigns, and nothing comes to us that is not filtered through His hands. Not even metastatic melanoma.
Your prayers are now more welcome--and needed--than ever!!
Thanks so much for holding us up in prayer during this extended bend in the road.
(my original post earlier today follows)
Today's been a low-energy day. Half a degree of fever this morning; fever gone now. Haven't felt like doing much of anything, and thus haven't actually done much of anything.
Apparently, this recovery will be more of a process than I wanted it to be. Rats!
Still & all, I'm good. Just impatient about how I feel. Thanks so much for continuing to pray us through this!
With love & hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7,8; 16-18
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Pretty good day today
Actually felt much better than yesterday. Apparently my systems are switching back to the "on" position after being shut down Friday morning. Regrettably, it seems the pain one is also switching back on. But still, pain is not a huge issue with this, which is nice. Lisa actually took me up to church this morning so I could walk on the track. I made a half mile without pressing very hard; I'll take this for day 4 after having parts of my lung removed! *smile* It was good to run into some friends who've been oh-so-faithful prayer warriors through this journey as well. I basically laid around the house/slept after that. (I said I felt better...not good yet...)
The bad news of the day was that not only did pain receptors & transmitters turn back on, but also, today was "bandage removal day." You know that tape that's used to hold bandages in place? The special kind of tape that sticks really well? That tape that very painfully peels layers of skin off when it's removed? Yeah...that was today. Thus, now I'm short some skin cells, plus my left arm seems to stick to my side where the tape (& skin) used to be...
However, the good news of the day is that I took my first shower since Friday a.m. It was glorious! (note to concerned parties: I have bathed myself since Friday...this was just the first actual shower...)
Got a couple of appts. tomorrow, plus some very serious catching up work-related stuff to make happen. I'll keep my drivers busy tomorrow...(remember, "Driving Mr. Mike...and his teddy bear")
Also, please don't forget that tomorrow (Wednesday) is the momentous phone call to MDA to discover what pathology results from Friday are. Presumably, that will also set future treatment course as well.
Ran across this today from Philip Yancey, a writer I really like:
For the Christian pain represents, at various times and from various angles, a design feature worthy of praise and gratitude, an affliction to be overcome, a potential vale of soul-making, and a spur to hope in a painless future.
Thanks for holding us before the throne these days, amigos! Please do so for a bit longer. I'm fairly tired, but sleep tonight might be a good prayer point...
With much love & great hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7,8; 16-18
p.s. - 24 years ago yesterday, this lovely Bama coed put a ring on my finger as we made some promises in a small country church in S. AL. What an amazing, marvelous, wonderful, scary ride it's been since then! 5 places of residence in 3 cities in 3 states, plus Ph.D. studies, plus job changes, a call to ministry, international mission trips, two children,...I totally cannot imagine life without her; the joys would much reduced, and the sorrows (like cancer surgery!) greatly magnified. Here's hoping for some more of the "for better" and "in health" parts of her marriage vows in the near future. While never presuming on God's providential ordering of the universe, I'm of the belief that she's has had quite plenty of the "for worse" and "in sickness" parts for the time being. I love you, Lisa! Happy Anniversary! (maybe I'll be more awake & more pleasant for our 25th next year...)
The bad news of the day was that not only did pain receptors & transmitters turn back on, but also, today was "bandage removal day." You know that tape that's used to hold bandages in place? The special kind of tape that sticks really well? That tape that very painfully peels layers of skin off when it's removed? Yeah...that was today. Thus, now I'm short some skin cells, plus my left arm seems to stick to my side where the tape (& skin) used to be...
However, the good news of the day is that I took my first shower since Friday a.m. It was glorious! (note to concerned parties: I have bathed myself since Friday...this was just the first actual shower...)
Got a couple of appts. tomorrow, plus some very serious catching up work-related stuff to make happen. I'll keep my drivers busy tomorrow...(remember, "Driving Mr. Mike...and his teddy bear")
Also, please don't forget that tomorrow (Wednesday) is the momentous phone call to MDA to discover what pathology results from Friday are. Presumably, that will also set future treatment course as well.
Ran across this today from Philip Yancey, a writer I really like:
For the Christian pain represents, at various times and from various angles, a design feature worthy of praise and gratitude, an affliction to be overcome, a potential vale of soul-making, and a spur to hope in a painless future.
Thanks for holding us before the throne these days, amigos! Please do so for a bit longer. I'm fairly tired, but sleep tonight might be a good prayer point...
With much love & great hope,
Mike - 2 Cor. 4:7,8; 16-18
p.s. - 24 years ago yesterday, this lovely Bama coed put a ring on my finger as we made some promises in a small country church in S. AL. What an amazing, marvelous, wonderful, scary ride it's been since then! 5 places of residence in 3 cities in 3 states, plus Ph.D. studies, plus job changes, a call to ministry, international mission trips, two children,...I totally cannot imagine life without her; the joys would much reduced, and the sorrows (like cancer surgery!) greatly magnified. Here's hoping for some more of the "for better" and "in health" parts of her marriage vows in the near future. While never presuming on God's providential ordering of the universe, I'm of the belief that she's has had quite plenty of the "for worse" and "in sickness" parts for the time being. I love you, Lisa! Happy Anniversary! (maybe I'll be more awake & more pleasant for our 25th next year...)
Monday, June 2, 2008
Home Sweet Home!!
As of a few min ago, Lisa & I are home!! Never was it more sweet than just now. Lisa agrees. (tho in her case, it's magnified, because she had to drive all the way...)
Wound- & lung-wise, I feel fine. However, the system is taking longer to adjust to life after anesthesia than I had hoped. Thus, we were much slower out of the gate this morning than expected, because I felt rather...not good. Lisa & I have concluded that this is to be expected. After all, the anesthesia guy explained that they were going to shut down my left lung's function entirely, while keeping the rt. one pumping. (Is medical technology awesome, or what??) Plus, gen'l anesthesia shuts down most everything else. I'm just ready for it all to turn back on now...
Plus, I had to stop every couple of hours (Dr. orders), and walk. Fast-food patrons all over E. TX & S. LA are probably still talking about the funny man in the white leggings that was walking laps around the McDonald's/Burger King earlier today...
And now, we wait...again...for hugely significant medical results...*sigh* The plan is to call Wednesday & get the combo of the path report plus the prelim from the medical Dr. based on the pathology from Friday's resections... Your continued prayers these next few days are most appreciated!
This week's memory verse has long been a fave of mine due to its huge theological significance. But this week, if possible, it means even more to me. "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth" John 1:14. Ponder with me what it means that Jesus Christ chose to condescend to come to earth and become flesh & hang around with such knuckleheads as us. But not only that, to offer redemption to us even with total awareness of all of our, well, humanity. May we never get over that...
Thank you so much for sharing this bend in the road with us! Your prayers are making a huge difference to all 4 of us. It's my prayer that we never get over that either...
With love & hope,
Mike - 2 Cor 4:7-8, 16-18
Wound- & lung-wise, I feel fine. However, the system is taking longer to adjust to life after anesthesia than I had hoped. Thus, we were much slower out of the gate this morning than expected, because I felt rather...not good. Lisa & I have concluded that this is to be expected. After all, the anesthesia guy explained that they were going to shut down my left lung's function entirely, while keeping the rt. one pumping. (Is medical technology awesome, or what??) Plus, gen'l anesthesia shuts down most everything else. I'm just ready for it all to turn back on now...
Plus, I had to stop every couple of hours (Dr. orders), and walk. Fast-food patrons all over E. TX & S. LA are probably still talking about the funny man in the white leggings that was walking laps around the McDonald's/Burger King earlier today...
And now, we wait...again...for hugely significant medical results...*sigh* The plan is to call Wednesday & get the combo of the path report plus the prelim from the medical Dr. based on the pathology from Friday's resections... Your continued prayers these next few days are most appreciated!
This week's memory verse has long been a fave of mine due to its huge theological significance. But this week, if possible, it means even more to me. "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth" John 1:14. Ponder with me what it means that Jesus Christ chose to condescend to come to earth and become flesh & hang around with such knuckleheads as us. But not only that, to offer redemption to us even with total awareness of all of our, well, humanity. May we never get over that...
Thank you so much for sharing this bend in the road with us! Your prayers are making a huge difference to all 4 of us. It's my prayer that we never get over that either...
With love & hope,
Mike - 2 Cor 4:7-8, 16-18
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Mike - unplugged...
...ok, it's not nearly as cool as the "MTV - Unplugged" concert shows of a few years back, but I'm pretty dadburn stoked about it.
I'm writing to you from our friend's place in Friendswood, TX, 25-ish miles from MDA. The cool thing about this particular stay tonight is that I am out of MDA & unplugged from everything!! It was actually a nontrivial process to disconnect me from all the stuff I was connected to in the room. But they got it done.
Not counting shots, I came up with 12 different sticks in me since Wed. afternoon's arrival @ MDA. I'm not particularly worried about getting stuck w/ IVs & such, but 12?? Oh well, I'm glad to be here. They also shaved my left wrist somewhat (this happened during surgery Friday morning, apparently). Between that, and the new temp tattoo, and the teddie bear, and the really cool white anti-clot support hose, I'm quite the fashion plate now. Who knew that MDA also specialized in fashion makeovers in addition to cancer research? *grin*
We're planning to roll toward H'burg tomorrow 1st thing in the a.m., with Lisa taking the first shift of Driving Mr. Mike...and his bear. In the finest southern tradition, the bear's name is officially "Anderson Bear" ("Andy" for short). I considered and rejected the following: Bobby Bear (for you old-school country fans), Paul Bear (let's say that one didn't pass chain of command muster, despite our shared ties to a famous coach with that name from our days @ the Capstone...), and Cance-Bear. Andy it is. I doubt you'll see him much in church, as a 49-year-old guy carrying & cuddling a teddy bear looks just a tad odd...and not a little bit disturbing.
I have a followup w/ the surgeon in 4 weeks that I know about. I 'spect (& hope!) we'll have a chat coming w/ the medical guy sooner to discuss the lab results & what they mean for continued treatment. Basically, we have no idea what lies ahead medically speaking. Your continued prayers are most welcome!
Thanks so very much for your prayers in recent days. We're fine, all things considered. And I'm actually feeling amazingly good, to have had lung surgery about 60 hours ago. Lisa & I went shopping this afternoon briefly, & then just hung around here doing not much.
I have some restrictions, but very few. No driving at all for 2 weeks, then limited driving for the next few. No heavy lifting (naturally, I had just gotten my shoulder press & front raise & bench back up to semi-respectable-for-an-old-guy level...*sigh*) No feeding of pets or taking out of garbage or washing of dishes before 2017. (ok...kidding about that last sentence; love you Lisa!)
Again, we are awed by being the recipients of God's grace to us through you. Thanks for praying and for making yourselves available as channels of blessing.
With much love and great hope,
Mike
I'm writing to you from our friend's place in Friendswood, TX, 25-ish miles from MDA. The cool thing about this particular stay tonight is that I am out of MDA & unplugged from everything!! It was actually a nontrivial process to disconnect me from all the stuff I was connected to in the room. But they got it done.
Not counting shots, I came up with 12 different sticks in me since Wed. afternoon's arrival @ MDA. I'm not particularly worried about getting stuck w/ IVs & such, but 12?? Oh well, I'm glad to be here. They also shaved my left wrist somewhat (this happened during surgery Friday morning, apparently). Between that, and the new temp tattoo, and the teddie bear, and the really cool white anti-clot support hose, I'm quite the fashion plate now. Who knew that MDA also specialized in fashion makeovers in addition to cancer research? *grin*
We're planning to roll toward H'burg tomorrow 1st thing in the a.m., with Lisa taking the first shift of Driving Mr. Mike...and his bear. In the finest southern tradition, the bear's name is officially "Anderson Bear" ("Andy" for short). I considered and rejected the following: Bobby Bear (for you old-school country fans), Paul Bear (let's say that one didn't pass chain of command muster, despite our shared ties to a famous coach with that name from our days @ the Capstone...), and Cance-Bear. Andy it is. I doubt you'll see him much in church, as a 49-year-old guy carrying & cuddling a teddy bear looks just a tad odd...and not a little bit disturbing.
I have a followup w/ the surgeon in 4 weeks that I know about. I 'spect (& hope!) we'll have a chat coming w/ the medical guy sooner to discuss the lab results & what they mean for continued treatment. Basically, we have no idea what lies ahead medically speaking. Your continued prayers are most welcome!
Thanks so very much for your prayers in recent days. We're fine, all things considered. And I'm actually feeling amazingly good, to have had lung surgery about 60 hours ago. Lisa & I went shopping this afternoon briefly, & then just hung around here doing not much.
I have some restrictions, but very few. No driving at all for 2 weeks, then limited driving for the next few. No heavy lifting (naturally, I had just gotten my shoulder press & front raise & bench back up to semi-respectable-for-an-old-guy level...*sigh*) No feeding of pets or taking out of garbage or washing of dishes before 2017. (ok...kidding about that last sentence; love you Lisa!)
Again, we are awed by being the recipients of God's grace to us through you. Thanks for praying and for making yourselves available as channels of blessing.
With much love and great hope,
Mike
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