High Anxiety

As we head west this afternoon for what we hope will be the last part of the bend before the road straightens out, I thought I'd let my humanity show by sharing some parts of this that...well...challenge the efficacy of my blood pressure medicine. (let's just say)

--some glitch causing me to not be able to have the surgery after all

--something going wrong during the surgery that keeps us out there longer

(Neither of those are particularly pressing fears, in case you're wondering. This next one however,...)

--recovery from general anesthesia
I'm a cheap anesthesia patient. They say "count to ten" and I make it to "w..." and then the next thing I know they're waking me up. That's the good news. The bad news is, that it seems to take a while for all of my systems to switch back on after anesthesia. There were some minor issues with this last time; specific prayers are welcome related to all of these, but to this one in particular.

--my family--immediate and extended
They're scattered. And very tired from all of this wear & tear on the emotions. (especially Lisa...in her case particularly add "wear & tear from heading back & forth to Houston a bunch of times this summer"...). I've said before, I'd much rather be the patient than the spouse or child or parent or brother of the patient.

Lisa will be at MDA with me, but will still be out in the waiting room and in the recovery waiting room. Just waiting...which is surely the most wearying part of a hospital experience.

James is eyeball-deep in intense pharmacy things that I can't spell nor pronounce in his classes. 4 1/2 hours away from H'burg, and (obviously) farther yet away from us.

Anne is eyeball-deep in (a) her senior year of HS, and (b) a new job. She'll be here in the 'Burg.

Mom keeps a schedule that would wear out many a younger person back home in FL. (I'm quite sure I couldn't keep up!)

Jim & his family have much going on in central AL.

So, your prayers for all of them are vital to this process and are greatly needed and appreciated!

--time & effort to restore "regular" cardiovascular health
Mine was pretty decent at the beginning of the summer. (well, other than having cancer in my lungs...*smile*) Then came surgery + IL-2-land. I've been working on it since getting back, but let's just say I'm a "fur piece" from where I was & from where I need to be.

--getting ahead of the curve at work
My boss & colleagues are just amazing through all of this. Even yesterday, I received multiple offers to help out while I'm gone. With that said, I'm more or less keeping my head above water, but much that needs to happen professionally has fallen by the wayside this calendar year. It'd be great to be back in the groove of where I need to be with my classes & some research things & my committee work & a professional certification I'd like to complete. I really hope to (soon!)be a contributor to WCU and its School of Business, rather than a constant taker like I've been for 8 months now.

--home projects
I have yard things and house things that I was behind on in May. These 8 trips to Houston & the various types of...fun...they entailed have not helped me catch up. *sigh* Fortunately, I married waaaaaaaaay out of my league, so she's quite patient. Also, I have almost no game in the home repair area, & thus am unable to do much of that stuff even when healthy. So I've got that going for me...*grin*

The bottom line on several of these concerns is, Lisa & I are just ready to be leading exhiliratingly routine lives again. Catching up on our stuff, and contributing to the lives of others rather than just being Dead Sea-like takers with very little output.

One more fear, at the risk of going all theological on you. I have a very real fear of forgetting the many lessons my Lord has taught me this year once we pass (hopefully!) beyond the land of shadows & fears and move (next week, maybe!) back into the land of sunlight and smooth roads. Lisa & I do not want to lose the keen awareness of God's presence in & around us that has been manifest this year. A dear friend & soul brother told me during his own battle with a serious medical condition, "Mike, I don't ever want to go back to how I was before all this. I don't want to be the same again." Exactly! Me neither!

Moses said to the Lord..."Now therefore, if I have found favor in your sight, please show me now your ways, that I may know you in order to find favor in your sight"...And He said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” And he said to Him, “If Your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here...
(Exodus 33, beginning in v. 12, excerpted here)

Verse 15 (boldface above) is easy to say. I even memorized it a few years ago because I thought it was cool. "Cool" doesn't come close! Awesome does...at least what "awesome" meant before we applied it to pizza and burgers and coffee. To be struck with awe. Yeah, that's pretty close.

The Schedule:

--made it here last night just before midnight (waiting on car repair things)

--Thursday morning - appt w/ anesthesiologist + bloodwork (easy day)

--Friday - surgery (time TBA, but either early in the morning or less early in the morning; will find out Thursday afternoon)

--Saturday - watch college football all day long on TV (is this a great country, or what? *smile*)through the fog of amnesia; hope that my Crimson Tide play the game of their lives and upset Clemson Saturday night

--Sunday - hopefully, get released from hospital; this is what happened last time

--Monday - hopefully, head back home (if not on Sunday...see "hurricane Gustav"...)

--Tuesday - lie around the house praying for body systems to turn back on

--Wednesday - hopefully, resume teaching

(There does seem to be this hurricane percolating down south...the eye is currently predicted to pass through my back yard...Monday morning. But other than that, the weather's great & expected to stay so...*sigh*)

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE, EMAILS, COMMENTS HERE, PRAYERS, AND ACTS OF SERVICE TO US!! We're so very humbled and so deeply moved by all of the fingerprints of God on all of you. I hope we never get over it.

With strong love, tremendous appreciation, and greatly renewed hope,
Mike