Lipstick on a Pig

You can put all the lipstick you have on a pig, and it's still just a pig with lipstick. (great mental image to start the day, huh? *smile*)

Well, today's appointment is sort of like that. There's just not much of a way to dress it up. After all musings & ponderings about it, it's still a Dr. visit that is very intense. So, I'll not try to make it something it's not. Just the facts, ma'am...

1:30 - appt. with Dr. Homsi

That's it. No tests, nothing else. Just the big appointment.

There are three possible results of yesterday's tests, by way of reminder:

1. The high-dose IL-2 immunotherapy has worked to completion
Scans show no trace of cancer anywhere in my body.

2. The immunotherapy is working
Scans show that the tumors are still there, but are shrinking. This would likely mean another 2-round cycle of IL-2.

3. The immunotherapy is not working
Scans show the melanoma has either grown or spread. This would mean time for plan B. Or C. Or D. It would mean no more IL-2; instead, it would mean chemo or some other protocol.

Obviously #1 is the preferred choice (thank you, Captain Obvious...). #2 would be good too.

Just happened to read Psalm 139 this morning...(OK, I didn't "just happen to read it"...). A few thoughts from David there seem relevant to today.

(Psalm 139 starts)
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue,behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before,and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me,and your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me,when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.
(1-18)

Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,and lead me in the way everlasting! (23-24)
(Psalm 139 ends)

A few takeaway points for me. For us.
--God knows!
--He cares!
--He is ever-present! (One of my favorite names of His is Jehovah Shammah - The Lord Who is Present)
--Even the darkness of, say, an intense appt. @ MDA is not dark to Him!
--I am fearfully and wonderfully made...even with scars on & (perhaps still) cancer floating in my body. All 5'9" of me. Short, slow, and carrying the mass of a guy who's 6'2". Still, fearfully & wonderfully made.
--His works are wonderful! Sometimes this is patently obvious; other times it seems a tad veiled. Either way, though, His works are wonderful.
--He knows all of our days before we're even born. Let that bit of info sink in...

So, pray today that I can remember what I know to be true as we face huge uncertainty with this appointment. Pray that I will subject my human anxiety to the scrutiny and truth of the Word. My God will not be surprised by whatever Dr. Homsi says today. I rest in that, albeit uneasily at times when I allow my human anxiety to overpower the truth.

THANK YOU for praying for us through this journey. Especially today's part.

With love, awe, thanksgiving, and hope,
Mike

p.s. - I'll update asap, but that may be later tonight when we get back to H'burg.